Peace vs. Envy

A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.

--Proverbs 14:30

Slow Friday

It's going to be one of those days. There are only two of us here at work, the bosses are out doing voice-records for upcoming episodes. So, it's been a bit of a slow start:) But hey, you gotta have a bit of a rest now and then. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

Have you got a busy day ahead of you? I hope you all are having a good one.

The Priest

I'm guessing this is probably not many people's cup of tea, but this morning I bought a Judas Priest best of (at a bargain price, I might add).

Oh man, this is the good stuff. I don't talk about it much, but I love heavy metal, especially stuff from the 80's.

This one song, Painkiller, is basically the epitome for me of all things awesome. Look at that cover, people! Circular saws for wheels! How can you not love that?

Book Group II: And The Winner Is...

Thanks to those who voted. I'm looking forward to getting into what sounds like an interesting book.

I guess now the next stage is to give us all a bit of time to track down the book. You could get it here at Koorong, or (sorry Koorong) for a fair bit cheaper here at Amazon.

We'll kick off the reading and discussion in about a week or so. Stay tuned.

Thursday Peanuts

Jesus/God

Until we know Jesus, God is a mere abstraction.

--Oswald Chambers

The Piercing I Will Never Have

What is something that you have always wanted to do, but have left it too late?

For me, it's getting an earring. I have always wanted an earring. Nothing too showy, just a little sleeper in my left ear. But I never got around to doing it, at first because I knew my mum would say I looked ridiculous, and in more recent times because I knew my wife would say I looked ridiculous.

Oh, let me live!

But it's too late for me now. To get an earring at 31 reeks of an early mid-life crisis. Next thing I'd be wearing a leather wristband with metal studs and listening to emo bands. It's a slippery slope.

But still, deep in my heart of hearts, there will always be a little hole of emptiness, a tiny void that could only be filled by an earring.

Voting Lines Closing Soon!

Men of the 8th Floor

People aren't what they seem. I work on the 8th floor of a building, and on that floor there would be roughly 15 men (and a much bigger number of women). These men look like ordinary sorts of blokes -- fairly clean-cut, normal guys. But they are not. Not all of them, anyway. In amongst the sheep are some wolves.

There is one set of toilets on my floor. More often then not, I go in, and have to wade through puddles where people have 'missed'. Or have to flush prior to using because people have 'forgot'. Or have to avoid using altogether because people have used four rolls in one sitting and have dammed the river. Yesterday I had to give the whole cubicle a good scrub down before I could even contemplate taking things further.

This angers me greatly. Can it be so difficult? Who do they expect will clean up their mess? I can't look at these 15 men the same. I look at them with penetrating scrutiny, trying to discover who the culprits are. I daydream about catching them at it and naming and shaming them. I am a big believer in public shaming. I would like the culprits to have to parade through the office with a big sign saying something like 'yet to be toilet-trained'. Oh, how I long for justice.

Men of level 8, hear this-- your days are numbered.

Book Group II: Referendum Day

Well, after many grueling days on the campaign trail for our candidates, the day has finally dawned for BGII Referendum Day. Remember what you are wearing, and what you had for breakfast, for this is a day that you will be telling your grandchildren about in years to come.

Some voters have done a little gun-jumping, putting in their votes pre-referendum day on the propaganda post. Your enthusiasm is inspiring, but don't let your vote be wasted, friends. You have a voice. Be heard. Stand up and be counted. Vote here! Vote now!

The Rules--

State your top three choices. First choice is worth three points, second two points, and third one. Voting lines will close at Morning Tea tomorrow, Eastern Standard Time. A giant, cutting edge computer called Trixie has been installed to process the votes in this unparalleled-ingly complicated voting process, and will announce to me in a cool computer voice tomorrow who our winner is. As your spokesperson, I will then relay this information to you.

Choose wisely, friends. The future is in your hands.

Meet Your Candidates

The Place Where God Can Withdraw His Blessings

How are we going to get the life that has no lust, no self-interest, no sensitiveness to pokes, the love that is not provoked, that thinketh no evil, that is always kind? The only way is by allowing not a bit of the old life to be left, but only simple perfect trust in God, such trust that we no longer want God's blessings, but only want Himself.

Have we come to the place where God can withdraw His blessings and it does not affect our trust in Him?

--Oswald Chambers

Book Group Propaganda

Well, my bookish friends, here is the shortlist for Book Group II. Read through these blurbs and see what tickles your fancy. In a day or two I will hold a referendum, yes you heard me right, a referendum to find out our BGII winner. To avoid a scenario where we all vote for our own suggestions and sulk, I have conceived of an ingenious system of voting where we award points to our first, second and third preferences. Sound complicated? It is! If we still end up in a deadlock, the winner will be decided by an arm wrestle. Anyway, pick a side, people. Your vote counts.

1.Life Together (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)
After his martyrdom at the hands of the Gestapo in 1945, Dietrich Bonhoeffer continued his witness in the hearts of Christians around the world. His "Letters and Papers from Prison" became a prized testimony to Christian faith and courage, read by thousands. Now in "Life Together" we have Pastor Bonhoeffer's experience of Christian community. This story of a unique fellowship in an underground seminary during the Nazi years reads like one of Paul's letters. It gives practical advice on how life together in Christ can be sustained in families and groups. The role of personal prayer, worship in common, everyday work, and Christian service is treated in simple, almost biblical, words. "Life Together" is bread for all who are hungry for the real life of Christian fellowship.


2. How Long O Lord? (Don Carson)
Don Carson's pastoral experience, attention to detail, and love for God and his people are reflected in the pages of this comprehensive Biblical guide to suffering. Carson brilliantly yet sensitively addresses every form of suffering, showing that the final answer lies in the nature and character of the merciful God whom we serve. One of the most valuable of all resources for the pastor, counsellor or anyone who encounters suffering and wants to help or be helped.

3. Surprised by Joy (C.S. Lewis)
In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God...perhaps the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England." Thus C.S. Lewis describes the beginning of his transformation from atheist scholar to brilliant Christian apologist in SURPRISED BY JOY. In this classic autobiography, Lewis provides an engrossing account of his spiritual quest for an elusive yet ever beckoning "Joy", which he followed from childhood through Romanticism and "hard-boiled" atheism to its culmination in Christian conversion. The story features vivid accounts of Lewis' inner life and motivations, his experiences in the English public school tradition, and decisive influences on his journey towards Christian faith, such as the writings of G.K. Chesterton and friendship with J.R.R. Tolkien. Lewis brilliantly involves the reader in the twistings and turnings of his intellectual development, leading toward the crisis of faith that was to determine the shape of his entire life and career.


4. Christian Reflections (C.S. Lewis)
This fine collection of 14 essays exemplifies C S Lewis' keen engagement with all aspects of cultural expression, and how these relate to Christian convictions and practices. The range and depth of Lewis' insights remain unparalleled. Here is his best on literature, culture, ethics, church music, biblical criticism, and prayer.
This collection contains fourteen of Lewis's theological papers on subjects such as Christianity and literature, Christianity and culture, ethics, futility, church music, modern theology and biblical criticism, the Psalms, and petitionary prayer. Common to all of these varied essays are Lewis's uniquely effective style and his tireless concern to relate basic Christianity to all of life.

5. Spiritual Depression (Martyn Lloyd-Jones)
Believing that Christian joy was one of the most potent factors in the spread of Christianity in the early centuries, Lloyd-Jones lays bare not only the causes that have robbed Christians of spiritualvitality and freedom, but also the cure that is found through the mind and spirit of Christ. 300 pages, from Eerdmans
This enduring collection of twenty-one sermons by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, each originally delivered at Westminster Chapel in London, carefully and compassionately analyzes an undeniable feature of modern society from which Christians have not escaped--spiritual depression. "Christian people," writes Lloyd-Jones, "too often seem to be perpetually in the doldrums and too often give this appearance of unhappiness and of lack of freedom and absence of joy. There is no question at all but that this is the main reason why large numbers of people have ceased to be interested in Christianity." Believing that Christian joy was one of the most potent factors in the spread of Christianity in the early centuries, Lloyd-Jones not only lays bare the causes that have robbed many Christians of spiritual vitality but also points the way to the cure that is found through the mind and spirit of Christ.

And Now It All Makes Sense To Me

You gotta love the people who comment on Youtube videos. Who are these strange people and what swamp did they just crawl out of?

Nevertheless, sometimes you will skim through the ridiculous comments and find a little pearl, a word of wisdom that will leave you speechless. Here is a comment I read just now--

'If animals weren't meant to be eaten they wouldn't be made out of meat.'

Genius.

The Constant Browser

I love books, and love the idea of being a reader. But my problem is that I am a browser. My bedside table is loaded up with books, magazines and comics that I am 'reading', but I will rarely ever finish any of those books. I like to just sit in bed and look at them. Sounds silly, but I just like the look and smell of books, and dwelling on the possibility that I might actually one day read one..

My common routine is to hop into bed, look at a book, admire how nice it looks now that I have covered it in plastic wrap, read it's contents page, look at the blurb, admire the binding, give it a bit of a sniff, then read about four lines and fall asleep.

This annoys me. I want to be someone who can plough through books, and tick them off. But I actually find reading kind of hard. I find it really difficult to get into the zone, and not have my mind wander. I usually have to concentrate very hard, and most of the time end up re-reading paragraphs and paragraphs because my mind switched off for a bit.

So this is my goal. To do some hardcore reading, and actually get through some stuff, and conquer my annoying habit of browsing. Any browsers out there, or are you all those annoying people who can read a book in a day? If you are, get out of my sight.

The Possibility of Tragedy

I find it inspirational when people are able to temporarily put aside grief or anguish in order to do something else they need to do first.

Jonathan Thurston, the football player found out a day or two ago that his uncle had been bashed to death, but he held himself together in order to play for Australia last night, and ended up being named man of the match.

Now, I'm not saying sport is particularly important, but I just admire the effort and strength of character that would be needed to do something like this. Sadly, I fear I would be much more inclined to be rendered instantly helpless and hopeless in the face of tragedy, unable to get out of bed, let alone go out and do anything of worth.

You hear about people losing a loved one, and suddenly flinging themselves into the work or whatever, as a means of getting through. I just can't see myself doing that. I'm meaning to be morbid and dwell on dark things unnecessarily, but at the same time I think it's worthwhile to imagine what you would do, and to evaluate whether that is a suitable response, and in some way to prepare for the possibility of tragedy. Is this crazy?

I have been thinking about it, and trying to get into the mode of really grasping that God is all I need. Not just as a cliche throw away phrase, but as a reality. If I am stripped of everything as Job was, will I be able to stay trusting in God, and be content in the fact that in Him alone are all my needs met?

Work

I just finished designing an episode of Classic Tales called The Reluctant Dragon, which is an old story by Kenneth Graham (who wrote Wind in the Willows).

Above is one of the drawings I did for it.

Deferred and Fulfilled

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

--Proverbs 13:12

He Lives

I was on an escalator going up, when I heard a bunch of ruckus coming my way from the escalator going down. I saw an old man, and he was sort of telling something, but the words were indecipherable. As he got closer I realised he was talking to himself, and that he wasn't quite all there.

I was trying to make out what he was saying, as he seemed to be repeating the same phrase over and over. I was expecting it to be some sort of doomsday rant or something. As we passed each other, I finally made out what he was saying--

Hunka hunka burning love!

Hunka hunka burning love!

What Would You Rather Be Doing Today?

What would you rather be doing today? I would like to jump in the car with the girls and drive up the mountains. I'd like to go to a look out, where it's cold and drizzly, and watch the mist swirl around in the valley below, and feel the cold air on my face.

Then I'd like to go to some warm cafe where there is a fireplace, and drink coffee and read a book, while the rain falls outside.

You?

Thursday Peanuts

Reckless Prayer

E and I were reading the first chapter of James last night, and we got talking about verse 6 and 7, which say,

But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord.

We were talking about doubt associated with prayer, and whether there were some things we don't pray about very much, because they seem too hard, or too painful. At the root of this could be a doubt that God could or would ever answer this prayer, because it just seems beyond our imagination.

We have prayed and prayed about it, and God knows how much we long for it to be answered, and He hasn't answered us yet. Or at least we haven't heard any answer. So why keep praying? Why keep picking the scab on an issue that is so close to our hearts?

But when you look at these verses, it seems to be an issue of faith and trust. If we doubt God's love and capability, our prayers don't seem to hold any weight. We have to just dive in and believe in faith, knowing that God can do anything. We need to be reckless in prayer. In Matthew 17:20 Jesus says that if you just have the tiniest bit of faith, that 'nothing will be impossible' through Him.

Do you have an issue you don't pray about because it's too painful to keep bringing it up to no apparent avail? When I thought about it, something immediately came to mind, something dear to me I avoid for this reason. I'm determined to focus on praying for this thing boldly this week.

Be Assertive

I just happened to be in McDonald's this morning. I was just visiting. Of course I would never eat such unnutritious food for my breakfast.

Anyhow, this girl came to the counter while I was ordering-- Um, I mean, while I was chatting to the staff while eating the mung bean sandwich I had brought from home-- and she put a hash brown on to the counter, with a bite out of it, and said in a confident, pleasant voice, 'This is cold, can I have another one? Thanks'.

The kid behind the counter sort of rolled their eyes and went to get a new one. But I was thinking, man, I could never be that assertive. E is assertive, and would do something like that. I think it's a pretty good trait. But yeah, I don't have it in me.

A burger could have old skanky brown lettuce, and rotting tomato, and I still wouldn't take it back. I once discovered a cyst in a bit of chicken. Yes a cyst. Chicken pus. It squirted down my throat. I didn't take it back.

It's the same in a restaurant. They could stuff up my order, be rude, drop a drink in my lap, say rude things about my mother, over-charge me.. and I would still feel this inward pressure to be polite and even leave a tip. It's annoying really. It's not like I am a pushover in other aspects of life. I think I am really quite assertive at work for example.

But for some unknown reason, if you are making me food, I just don't have the heart to criticise you. Should I change?

The Rocky Run

I saw a guy running through the city this morning doing the Rocky Run. This is when you jog confidently, and at the same time sort of do a bit of shadow boxing. Some sweet ducking and weaving, a quick jab and the odd upper-cut. And you puff in a particular way-- you say 'foo! foo!' with each punch. This is the Rocky Run.

I was immediately in awe of this bloke, and envied him. I wish I had the courage and confidence to pull off a Rocky Run.

The Blog List

There's a lot of annoying etiquette involved with blogging. Because people don't want to seem petty and needy they don't talk about it, but it's there, alright. Just lurking beneath the surface.

That was a good post.. so where are the comments? Where are the links to this bit of awesomeness? I commented on your post, why have you not replied?

I know your shrugging and smirking, saying oh, I don't think that way. Come on, friend. Look deep inside. Look at the turmoil that quietly bubbles away.

Anyhow, a bit of blog dynamite waiting to blow is the "Blogs I Read" list. I recognised the volatility of this list early on and wisely steered clear. It sounds fun to start with, but where does the list stop? Someone puts you on their list, so are you then obligated to reciprocate? You have a friend who posts about four times a decade - are you obligated by friendship to add them to your list?

The pitfalls are many, and best to be avoided. It's all fun and games until some poor soul looks down that list with expectancy, and comes away with a small fissure developing on their sensitive heart*.

However, brashly, and perhaps foolishly I added this list to my blog just now. Out of boredom, and not wanting to start work yet. It started off okay, but quickly turned stressful. Where do you draw that line? How do you find the strength to refrain from adding that blog you looked at once in 1982?

Anyhow, I will give it a test run. That's the kind of courage I have been known to show in the face of such adversity. You might say I am neurotic, thinking so much about something so trivial. But if you look down that list and either feel a tinge of joy at seeing your world-famous blog on someone's list, or feel a bit chizzy at being ommitted, well, you will know that I speak the truth.

*DISCLAIMER- The author has never once worried about such things, and has never ever cared what anybody thought of him. He is above such trivialities, and is very confident and self-assured. Some might even consider him to be a rock.

Christian Books

I have been wanting to go to Koorong (the Christian bookshop) for a while now, and we finally got there on Saturday. I have really mixed feelings when I go there. On one hand, I love just seeing the quantity of good Christian books, and poring over the classics. I also like seeing how popular the shop is, and that there are always hordes of people there.

On the other hand, I get a bit down seeing the amount of books that, well, to be honest, seem kinda crap. I know you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, but I still do. And so many books I see instantly get my back up, just with first appearances. So many look like self help books, and have a picture of some perfect, happy, attractive, smiling person on the front. Read this and be happy! Be rich! Be awesome!

I also get turned off by the titles. E spotted a book called 'How would Jesus Raise Your Child'. This just irks me. I can see how it could be okay, but to me it just seems silly. Jesus was so many things. Why write a book about something that He wasn't? To me it feels like, I am interested in such and such, and I'll write a book about that topic...and then somehow squeeze Jesus in there. Jesus isn't someone to be squeezed in to a topic. But hey, you might love that book and find it helpful, I don't know. I'm probably too cynical.

Anyhow, I was far more attracted to some of the older books, and picked up a couple that I have been wanting for ages-- The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis (sorry Dad, I will finally return your copy now!), and The Confessions by St. Augustine. I did have some thoughts of doing The Confessions for Book Group... but having flicked through it looks like a bit of a hard slog! Anyone interested, or who has read it? Worth it? Other ideas for Book Group were something by C.S Lewis or J.I. Packer.

The Weekend

We had a good weekend. It started off well with a self-imposed early mark from work. The early mark combined with the long daylight-savings day meant there was time for me and the girls to go for a walk down to the park. No better way to relax. Grabbed some stuff at the shops and made rice paper rolls. Nice. Then started watching another Bronte dvd (The Tenant of Wildfell Hall).

Had a lazy Saturday morning, then drove over to Koorong Bookshop for a while. Then had dinner with some friends, P and K in Newtown. Great Indian. Got very full, and even shared. Little e was great at the restaurant, no tantys or anything. She's a good kid.

Got up early for church, as I was playing guitar in the band. I am really loving church. It is great to have that close community of friends around us.

Sunday arvo was great. We went down to the local pool and took little e for a swim. She is a brave little thing, not really scared of the water. And she is so friendly, always running up and smiling at strangers. E said that she likes that little e sees everybody as her friend. I agree, that is a cool trait. I don't think either of us were really like that-- we were probably a lot more shy..

I then just felt like driving, so we just drove around the streets for no apparent reason. Stopped at a gelato place and sat and ate it on the curb (classy). it was just a really nice, slow, meandering afternoon, the epitome of summer (even though it's still spring..) Good times.

Rolling With The Punches

I've been thinking lately about the practical changes that will need to happen when the new baby arrives. Like I was completely unprepared for what one baby would entail, I am feeling almost as in the dark as to what two (or three, or four..) will entail.

Looking back, that first year with little e was probably the hardest in my life. It's hard to put into words just how much your whole world changes. You can read about it and get a whole bunch of advice, but when it happens, you're just like 'wooooahh!! What the heck is happening here?!' It's wonderful, but really hard.

And so it is kind of alarming to hear people say 'oh, one child was a breeze. Just you wait for two and three.' Yikes. So I am trying to think through just what this will mean practically, to try and prepare, but I don't really know.

I wonder how we'll go with four of us in our two bedroom place? Is it unrealistic to think that the two kids will happily share a room for a couple of years? I think that's fine for when their a little older, but I wonder how a baby and a toddler will go together.. I picture them constantly waking each other up through the night, for example.

But I like the idea of them sharing a room. I liked sharing a bunk with my big brother when I was a kid. It felt like a privilege to me. Maybe not so much to him -- he probably wanted Independence-- but I liked it. I liked that we had matching pyjamas. I liked looking at all his cricket and football posters that covered the wall. I liked when the two of us would talk quietly in the dark when everyone else was asleep. When I did get my own room, I felt very lonely, and the room felt very quiet, dark and still.

Anyway, I guess like every other stage in life, you can only prepare so much, and for the most part you just have to trust God, and let the wave take you where it will. One thing I've learned from fatherhood to this point is that nothing stays the same, so don't get too comfortable. Everything could be completely different by tomorrow, so you need to be ready to roll with the punches.

Words

Reckless words pierce like a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

--Proverbs 12:18

Thursday Peanuts

The Gospel Every Day

'What's the gospel? The gospel is that Jesus Christ the righteous one died for our sins, rose again eternally triumphant over all of His enemies, so that now there is no condemnation for those who believe but only everlasting joy. That's the gospel.

You never, never, never outgrow your need for the gospel. Don't ever think of the gospel as that's the way you get saved, and then you get strong by leaving it and doing something else. No. We are strengthened by God through the gospel every day until the day drop. You never outgrow your need to preach to yourself the gospel.'

--John Piper

Yearbooked

Nixter and Kristina inspired me to Yearbook myself. So here's some happy snaps from the vault.

1956 -first day of college

1970 -taking my studies more seriously

1974 -my Black Panther years

1988 -my awesome hair years

1998 -my yes, I'd like fries with that years.

Give it a go. I dare you.

Bumbag Anyone?

In no way do I condone the manbag. Design it in brown or black leather if you like. It's still a handbag, and you still look like a goose.

But I do recognise a great need.

I always have so much stuff in my pockets. A giant wallet in my back pocket that makes me sit on an angle. Keys in my front pocket that stab my leg. Big car remote key thing. Mobile phone. Iriver. Hanky.

It's all very cumbersome and uncomfortable, and having given it some thought, I can see only one possible way forward.

Not currently in fashion perhaps, but in need of a timely comeback. Just stop for a minute, and clear your mind. I sense that your judgement is being clouded by prejudice.

The pros are many. It is the ideal size. It requires no hands to hold it. You can strap it on and forget about it. Comes in many great designs. Can be worn up high for an 80's retro cool, or down low, in a slouchy, street cred-ish way. Can be worn at the front or back.

And what are the cons? Well, that's just it. There are none.

Oh, one more great pro that pretty much seals the deal for me-- In America a bum bag is known as a fanny pack. Now, I don't care what you say, that's funny.

The problem I have, is that while I am very cutting edge and can see the potential, I lack the courage to take the bull by the horns and be the one to kick it off. But, tell you what, the moment I see just one brave person strap on one of these bad boys, I'm jumping straight on that sweet bandwagon. Just you watch.

Worrying Times

Thought Marmaduke was bad? My friend told me last night that he knew someone who just called his son Google. I kid you not.

Bad enough to be named after a cartoon dog. But a search engine?

The New Black?

One of the best things about my morning so far was seeing a teenage schoolgirl get off the train holding a pogo stick. Is this a new craze? If it is, it is to be welcomed. I hope it catches on.

Surely a better craze than this .

Masculinity

I've been listening to a really cool talk about Men and Masculinity by Mark Driscoll today. I highly recommend it to any guys out there (and women too).

These days masculinity is often portrayed in a negative way, but Driscoll argues from Proverbs why it is so vital for men to be men.

As a bloke who often finds myself tempted to shrink away from things, and gets afraid or overwhelmed, I've found this really encouraging.

Have a listen.

Work and Fantasy

He who works his land will have abundant food,
but he who chases fantasies lacks judgement.

--Proverbs 12:11

That Old Feeling

Do you ever feel down in the dumps and not really know why? I feel like that from time to time, and feel that way today. I get in to this state of lacking enthusiasm for anything, and just find myself sighing through everything.

I feel bad about it, because I know I have so much to be thankful for and happy about. It's just this dumb feeling that I can't shake sometimes. My friend preached in a sermon on Sunday about 'preaching to yourself' with truths from scripture when you are struggling to grasp joy. I think that's what I need to do. I think I'd be better off going and praying for a bit than sitting here typing about it, to be honest.

My blog must seem pretty strange. One minute I'm joking about something or other and the next I'm all serious and downcast. I think I am not a very level person. I go up, down, up, down a lot. And I think maybe I use my blog as a way of preoccupying myself with silly things so as to prolong or procrastinate thinking and dealing with more serious issues at hand. Yikes, I'm revealing too much.. retreat, retreat!

Enough of that. I better go and pray about this before I write off the day.

Magic and Muffins

On Saturday we took little e to a magic show at Darling Harbour, with E's dad. It was a fun day. Gotta say, the magic was a little bit on the lame side though. I kept trying to just enjoy it, but kept reverting to thinking about the magician and his lovely lady assistants. Mate, you chose a strange vocation. Is this really what you want to do? And you three young girls-- how did you get tangled up with this guy? Did you lose interest in the engineering degree you started?

The guy was funny. Funny strange rather than funny ha-ha. He was kinda camp, from the Micheal Flatly, David Copperfield sort of school of blokes. After every trick he'd do a flouncy move with his hand and say 'Eeeeyaaargghh!!' His Mum had told him he was fantastic and he'd believed the hype. She'd said he had pizazz and charisma, and he said, 'Mum, right you are. I'm gonna make mmmaagiccc!!'

Eeeyaarrggh!

After five minutes Little e was fairly non-plussed and wasn't that keen to sit still, so I took her outside for the last half, where we hung out with the other families who had gotten sick of it.

A nice lady I was talking to offered little e some chocolate muffin, and I accepted. Then I started briefly panicking. She looks like a nice lady.. she does have four kids.. but what if it's all a guise? Maybe there is some foul play here and that chocolate muffin is no ordinary chocolate muffin...is that really icing sugar..or...anthrax?!

Sometimes you just have to take people at face value. Except for magicians.

ps- Eeyyaargh!

Some Big News

Well, little e is going to have a little brother or sister next April!

We are very excited and thankful about this news, and are looking forward to meeting our new family member.

As of Saturday E was fourteen weeks along, and so far everything has been going pretty smoothly.

Tough Questions- Sharing

Okay, here's today's tough question. You're having dinner with a group of friends. You are at a restaurant. Thai. Each person has ordered a dish, and the waiters have just brought out all the meals.

Do you want to share, or just have you're own dish, the one that you chose?

If you ask me, it's pretty obvious. I want my own food, to eat at my own leisure. That dish I chose? I chose that for a reason. I like it. There was a good reason why I didn't choose that greasy vego one with the fat slimy noodles. It's rubbish. Why do I have to suffer someone elses' dud choice while they reap the rewards with my thoughtful, wise choice?

The case is most clear with your Massaman Beef. This is a lovely dish, but it comes with about three chunks of meat and a couple of potatoes. If I order that, I want those three bits of meat. All three. But no, I get forced by peer pressure to share those three pieces with about seventeen other people. And those happy-go-lucky sharers are always the ones who get your meal first, and ravage it before you even get a look in. Curse them.

Now I have copped a lot of flack for my stance on sharing. I've been mocked and tsk-tsked. I've been called selfish or greedy. How dare I want to eat what I have chosen from the menu. The nerve!

The thing with sharers is that they are very self-righteous. They see themselves as pretty highly evolved. Oh, food means nothing to me, what's mine is yours. Help yourself to my dud slimy noodles. I'm not very hungry, I might just order a soup.

But then they polish off two of my three chunks of precious Massaman. What they really mean is, what's yours is mine. Curse them.

To be honest, I have eased up. I hang around sharers, so have come to adapt. Changed out of regard for the weaker brother. I may even be passed off as a sharer myself. But still, deep down I know what is right and fair. I may smile at you as I pass over my Massaman, but later on I sneak out and let down your tyres.

Be warned.

Sad Songs

I'm going to a 'Sad Songs and Red Wine' night at a friend's place tonight. Should be fun. Well, fun in a sad, male-bonding, crying sort of way. The idea is to bring three sad songs and a bottle of red.

I'm still finalising my shortlist though. Being a melancholy sort of bloke, I have a lot of sad songs to wade through. And being an obsessive, neurotic sort of bloke I spend way too much time thinking about the possibilities. Who is the audience? Sad as in bad or sad as in crying? What if they play my songs first? What a waste of my perfect choices that would be...

Etc.

But here's my probable three (or four)--

1.Thoughts of You- Dennis Wilson (the last minute of that song breaks my heart)

2.There Is a Light That Never Goes Out- The Smiths (an all time fav)

3.Superstar- The Carpenters (I love Karen)

4.Flame Trees- Cold Chisel (people are way too quick to write off this band. This song is amazing)

What would make your shortlist?

Thursday Peanuts

Tough Questions- Nuts

As you would know, here on the Vanishing Point we tackle the big issues. Some might say that I am the Naomi Robson or Anna Coren of the blog world, always keeping abreast with the issues that face our culture.

In keeping with this tradition, I have a difficult question to put to you. Here it comes, you may want to read over it a few times to let it sink in before you answer.

How would you, valued reader rank; from highly preferably, to leastly likable; the different species of nut and/or legumes in your standard bag of mixed nuts?

I will lead the way, and give you my preferences. At the top definitely is the cashew. No nut compares to the cashew. The flavour is exquisite, the shape interesting. A nut for the refined palate.

In second place comes the almond. A very sound nut. With an interesting outer layer, and strong nuttish flavour, it has worked hard for it's silver medal.

Coming in third is the nut that we all take for granted. It's always around so you forget to attribute it with it's rightful and deserving honours. But the peanut is a good nut. Dependable, trustworthy, good. A friend that will be there in the hard times.

We now reach more uncertain territory. For me, it's all downhill from here. The names escape me, the flavours offend me, the shapes annoy me. This will be a controversial call to make, but I don't rate the macadamia. I have no time for it, and it's just as well it rarely makes it into the standard nut mix. Then there is the round annoying ones (Brazil?) and the silly shaped ones (pecans, walnuts).

And then way down at the bottom of the list is the nasty unnamed nut. The nut that has no right to be in that packet. It's always left for last. It takes up too much space. It's weight adds unnecessary dollars to your bill. What the heck is that stupid nut anyway? Do you know the one I mean? It is that massive one that's about fourteen times the size of it's peers. Giant. Offensive. Tasteless. A waste of space. It's the equivalent of the dried paw paw in the muesli mix that pretends to be apricot. Bluuurgh. Or the lolly banana in the party mix. Evil.

That is Vanishing Point for this evening. Tomorrow-- what grocery stores are using neighbourhood dogs to stack the shelves after hours? You will be surprised at just who is participating in dog labour. And we talk a woman who says her neighbours are in fact alien cult leaders. These exclusives tomorrow.

Propitiation and Expiation

I have been listening to a few talks on the Cross, by Don Carson, John Piper and Mark Driscoll. I've been really struggling to get my head around some of the terminology used, and to remember what this terminology refers to. I found some helpful summaries on Wikipedia about propitiation and expiation.

'In Christian theology, propitiation is the work of Jesus Christ on the cross, by which He fulfills the wrath of God (both an emotional response of anger and a moral response of indignation), and conciliates Him who would otherwise be offended by our sin and would demand that we pay the penalty for it.'

'Propitiation literally means to make favorable and specifically includes the idea of dealing with God’s wrath against sinners. Expiation literally means to make pious and implies either the removal or cleansing of sin.'

'The idea of propitiation includes that of expiation as its means, but the word "expiation" has no reference to quenching God’s righteous anger. The difference is that linguistically the object of expiation is sin, not God (that is, sin is removed, not God). Linguistically, one propitiates a person (makes them favorable), and one expiates a problem (removes it). Christ's death was therefore both an expiation and a propitiation. By expiating (removing the problem of) sin God was made propitious (favorable) to us.'

Exhibition

My boss, Craig Handley is having an exhibition of his paintings at a gallery in Woollahra, and tonight I'm going to the opening. Should be good.

Craig Handley 'Lucky'
4-19 October, 2008
Drinks with the artist- Wednesday 8th Oct, 6-8pm
98 Holdsworth St Woolahra

You can see more of his paintings on the gallery website here.

Ice Ice Baby

Little e is starting to talk, and can say quite a few words now. On the weekend, I had a great idea, even by my standards of great ideas.

I realised that not only could she say 'eyes' (which when she says it sounds like 'ice! ice!'), but she could also say 'baby' ('bebbee!).

So I got her to put them together, and voila! We had a bit of Vanilla Ice going. I nearly started busting out a little beatbox action as accompaniment. Nearly.

My Righteous Anger

E often rouses on me for being critical or judgemental of people, particularly when we are out and about. Often I don't even have to say anything -just an expression on my face and I get told off.

But you see, it is not that I am judging. It is righteous indignation. If people were not so ridiculous, I would be more tolerant.

Yesterday at the playground in Summer Hill (where all the parents are sort of old and snooty and the kids annoying and precocious) there were many people inviting my wrath. Begging for it.

"Oscar, it's time to give Marmaduke a turn on the swing."

Marmaduke.

And this is not the family pet being referred to either. Don't want my scorn? Don't subject your child to a ridiculous name. Simple as that.

It's the child that my heart bleeds for. Thirteen years of schooling ahead of him, carrying the loathsome burden of being called Marmaduke. It is right and good that I should be angry.

Then this other kid is swinging on one swing, while I push little e on the other. He's about six, with a skivvy and longish hair. Probably named Tarquin or something.

"Watch this", he boasts. "I can swing with no hands. Watch me. I can do this for hours. Look. See I don't even have to hold on."

Little e is a one year old and is also swinging with no hands. Hey Tarquin, my one year old is swinging as good as you.

Is my attitude wrong? Should I not roll my eyes? Should I listen to my disapproving wife? He is just a kid after all..

But then, on cue, an answer is given, and the cosmos deals out its justice. Mid boast, Tarquin tumbles backwards off the swing and lands on his head. Not enough to concuss, just enough to batter his inflated pride. This, friends, is why you don't coo-ee until you're through the bush.

And so in conclusion, I maintain that it is right to feel righteous indignation about kids bearing cartoon dog names, and to feel a sense of satisfaction when an annoying kid gets a little comeuppance. It's right just because it is. The defense rests, your Honour.

Mr Nobody

Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant
than pretend to be somebody and have no food.

--Proverbs 12:9

Weekend

How was your long weekend? Ours was good. We purposefully kept it pretty quiet so that we could have some family time, and it was good for that. Had a nice dinner with some friends on Friday night, went out to a cafe for breakfast on Saturday, had some friends over to watch the grand final on Sunday. Apart from that, just lots of chasing little e around the house, in vain attempts to keep her out of mischief.

How was your weekend?

Idol Sucks.

Madam Parker's gone.

Don't care anymore.

My Garden

The other day I mentioned that my mate gave me a section of his garden for my birthday. On Saturday I went over and got it stated while my friend was away. It was great. Even though it was raining, and I was digging through mud, it just felt great. Satisfying and good. Nice to get a bit dirty, and get some mud on my fragile little girly hands.

Anyhow, here's a blow by blow account. This is what it looked like-- kinda rough and uneven ground with lots of rocks and grass and nasty little surprises (band aids, nails, spiders).

After about 45 minutes of clearing, weeding, and mixing in a big bag of cow poo. Also please note my creativity in putting in some planks as boundary things. I found them in a pile at the back of the yard. How awesome does that look. Very.

And here's the final result, a little later, with tomatoes, eggplants, zucchini, cucumbers, beans,strawberries and butternut pumpkin.

Lookin forward to tasting the fruits of my labour..

Fyodor Says Goodbye

Book Group- Week Thirteen (Part 6, vii-The End)

Overview--

-Raskolnikov farewells his mother. She is still deluded about him one day becoming 'a leading light'.

-He farewells Dunya. He has apparently been to the river several times, contemplating suicide but unable to follow through.

-He farewells Sonya.. but it is less a farewell then an 'I'm going now' with an unspoken knowledge that she will follow him.

-Raskolnikov returns to the police bureau and turns himself in.

********

-In the epilogue we find Raskolnikov imprisoned in Siberia. Razumikhin and Dunya get married. R's mother is sick, and while denying R's true fate, deep down she suspects what has become of her beloved son.

-Sonya has followed Raskolnikov, and visits frequently. She has gained much respect fro the other prisoners, while they despise R.

-R has a telling nightmare where everybody is doing their own thing, killing each other in 'senseless anger'. This suggests a changing of his heart.

-The book climaxes with Raskolnikv's redemption. Sonya meets him on a riverbank. He looks to the far side of the bank, seeing distant people living their own quiet lives. This seems to stand for a new hope for his future, and the river seems to be his current predicament, the time in prison that he must get through.

He crumples at Sonyas feet, finally sorry, finally showing his love and gratitude for her completely undeserved love towards him. Finally he has humility and a future.

********

Painfully Mediocre--

Right until the very end Raskolnikov was unwilling to view his actions as criminal. To him the only mistake he made was thinking he was 'extraordinary' enough to truly cross over. Disturbingly, he is far more troubled about being mediocre than about being a murderer.

'Crime? What crime?' he exclaimed in a sudden fit of fury. 'My killing a loathsome, harmful louse, a filthy old moneylender woman who brought no good to anyone, to murder whom would pardon forty sins...and you call that a crime?... Only now do I see clearly the whole absurdity of my cowardice, now, when I've already taken the resolve to go to this needless shame! It's merely because of my own baseness and mediocrity that I'm taking this step..'

Redemption--

In a sense, in the end it is not a big step to take from his anger at his own baseness and mediocrity, to his final sorrowful humility. In both states he sees himself not as 'extraordinary', but as the pitiful creature he really is. The step that he takes is admitting shame, not just seeing his baseness, but feeling sorry for it, feeling ashamed of it.

The End--

Well, that brings me to the end of this pretty amazing book. There is enough to warrant another ten posts, to go deeper in to the characters, the overall meaning of the novel, the cultural significance etc etc. But I will leave it there. I am happy that I made it through this book, and recommend it highly, as a means to think about our own faith, our own secret pride, and our place in society.

Thankyou and goodnight.