Unabomber Diaries, Day IV

It's raining outside. My dancing around the campfire last night seems to have worked. Though, note to self: dancing around fire on a full stomach of tinned soup may cause a stitch. I sit here alone and ponder what the masses are doing. Probably flippantly using excessive paragraph breaks is my guess. Paragraph breaks are for the weak. It is only I, the Sentinel, the One Keeper Of The Gate who sees this. I alone can type without having to hit return. Like the weak. In other news, I've been crocheting a lovely sun hat, which seems to be turning out pretty well. Love and kisses, your BFF, Unabomber.

Thursday Peanuts- The End Is Nigh

A bit of sad news is that the end is in sight for good ol' Thursday Peanuts, after roughly 140 Thursdays. The main issue is that my source material has dried up. Way back in the early days I was scanning all the strips in. This got old quick. Then I stumbled upon a site that had all the Peanuts strips sitting there for use. This made things much easier. But that site recently closed down, so I only have a couple more strips on hand, and then, sniff, it'll be goodbye to the regular Peanuts post. I'm sad.

Unabomber Diaries, Day III: Chapter 3

Stuff Unabomber likes: Khaki anoraks that smell a bit damp. Not washing my hair. Prog rock. Army disposal stores. Desert boots. Writing my memoirs in dim lighting. Not shaving. World of Warcraft. Reading your mail. Canned soup. Justin Bieber. On toast.

Unabomber Diaries, Day III: Chapter 2

Apparently some UK tv star that Unabomber has never heard of has named her baby 'Hero', after some character from Much Ado About Nothing. Talk about putting high expectations on a kid. Maybe he just wanted to be a bank clerk or something. Let it be known, Unabomber disapproves of this.

Unabomber Diaries, Day III

Dear Blogger, I just wanted to make you aware that your intimidation and bully-boy tactics don't work with me. So I took a couple of weeks off.. does this give you the right to confiscate my paragraph breaks? I worked hard for those, and they are rightfully mine. Give them back or I will come after you with all the artillery of my arsenal. And I'm talking hurtful weapons, not English soccer teams. You know, it surprises me that you would even dare mess with someone like me. Doth not mine reputation proceedeth me? Hello, does the name Unabomber not ring some alarm bells there, guvna? In conclusion, give me my paragraph breaks or taste my wrath. Have a nice day, love Unabomber.

So Is This

Paragraph breaks Paragraph breaks Wherefore at thou, Paragraph Breaks, Eternally Yours, Unabomber

This is only a test

Do not panic.

Keep Calm.

Continue whatever you were doing.

There is no-one behind the curtain.

Ignore the man typing over there, he is of no consequence.

The Knocked Back After You

You know what annoys me? When people knock back an 'After You'. Why not just slap me in the mouth and insult my family while you're at it. I'm not sure what the reasoning is, maybe to try and trump my politeness, I don't know. But all it does is make a situation awkward, and much longer than it needs to be. There's a guy on my floor at work who is a pig for a knocked back After You. He loves the stuff. We get in the lift together at 4pm, me to go home, he to go downstairs for a smoke. We have a bit of smalltalk chitchat on the way down (how was your day busy mine too oh well at least it's nearly the end of the week too right yessiree bob nice weather bit warm I'd say what about that natural disaster no good no good at all), and then we get to the ground floor, the doors open, and this is when the magic starts. "After you", I say, standing back. "No, no, after you", he says, holding his ground too. Then I get stubborn. Trump me, will you? "No, I insist". "No, no, I insist times a million squared no returns". So on and so forth. It always ends the same way, me finally giving in, exiting, and saying "Thanks". And then he goes, suddenly talking in a Deep South drawl, "Not a problem", and I half expect that to be followed with "..little lady", and I walk away, feeling like I'm suddenly wearing a dainty summer frock and holding a parasole. So much unneccesary grief, awkwardness and emasculation. So if I ever offer you an After You, please, please, please just take it, so we can both get on with our lives. Unabomber out.

Hakuna Matata

I'll give you seven thousand dollars if you can help me get paragraph breaks again. I don't like the unabomber vibe posts have when they have no paragraph breaks. Anyway on with this post. Imagine a paragraph break HERE. So I saw this fella on the train this morning, fairly good looking, neatly presented, and athletic. He appeared to be married, and maybe in his late thirties. He had the look of a personal trainer- a bit smug and "I woke up at 4:30am and meditated while eating my organic muesli"-ish. He also had a lion tattooed on his calf. Which was all well and good until I realised this was no ordinary lion, this was the Disney Lion King logo lion. Now, however cool and tough looking a lion might be, and no matter how good a logo design that may be, you're still a grown man with a Disney tattoo. Something to at least consider, or meditate on while you eat your muesli.

The Quiz

1. I find it hard to bite my tongue when... 2. Voting. Chore or privilege? 3. Something you did on a whim 4. It's feeling inevitable that I'll.. 5. Your mood....NOW

Hmm paragraph breaks not working that's why the stream of consciousness density of the last post. Grr Blogger, punishing me for taking a break.

Back!

Welp, I'm back. Sorry for the hiatus, I just needed to find my feet a bit. Turns out they were in my socks. Boom tish! We are settling in to Number 9 happily, and enjoyed the yard for the seven minutes that it hasn't been raining since we moved in. Yesterday arvo I pruned back a crepe myrtle tree up the back. It felt so good, because this was no ordinary crepe myrtle tree, this was MY crepe myrtle tree, and I was pruning it so that it would grow well in Spring. And next Spring. And the one after that. A man needs a crepe myrtle tree to prune. The weekend wasn't overly restful as I had to go back to the rental at Como to do the lawns and everything. That was a BIG yard. And with everything else going on I had been like 'oh I can't think about that right now, I'll take care of it later'. So it was pretty bad. I worked hard, mowing, pruning, raking. But it wasn't very satisfying, not being my yard, and knowing the place was about to be demolished. Still, I worked hard. Here's a what it looked like beforehand. Here's what it looked like after. Sorry about the photo quality, they were just taken with my camera phone. Anyways, good to be back, and I hope you've all been well. Now, on with The Quiz..

A Proverbial Update

I'll be back soon. My proverbial batteries are being charged by a proverbial battery charger, and seem to be about two thirds proverbially done.

Come Monday I should be good to go.

On The Flip Side

Hey friends. Wading through the quagmire a bit at the moment (crazy busy days and sleepless nights with unsettled kids) with the imminent move. I'm going to not blog this week so that The Sadness of The Swamp doesn't overtake me.

I'm just working today and tomorrow, and then I have the rest of the week off, and we move on Thursday. So yeah. Busy, tired and grumpy, but excited too, and thankful. The place is looking really nice, and we got pretty on top of the painting over the weekend. Now the packing..

So, sorry for a quizless, postless week, hope you all have a good few days, and I'll most probably be back early next week.

Dusk

Nearly There

Six more sleeps at Como until we move. Til then, frantic painting and packing. Tomorrow I'll go hard all day trying to knock over as much of the painting as I can. It's going to be a busy, busy, busy next few days..

Follow The Crows

Sorry if that's a bit scary. I like scary stuff, is all. I gotta get it in there somewhere!

Morning Doodlin'

Ponies and Flowers

Simone's trying to be a good-girl blogger. Hopefully this won't last too long.

Broken Escalator Science

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Isn't it weird how your legs totally forget how to walk when you come to an escalator that isn't working? You get there, and your eyes swim and boggle as you try and comprehend that the thing isn't working.

And then it's like you suddenly have big metal robot legs that you're just now learning to use for the first time, and you have to tell them how to do it. Okay lefty, you go first, now righty it's your turn.. And you have to concentrate really hard in order to just not fall over and kill yourself.

Am I the only one who has encountered this phenomenon, or is it a common thing? I wonder why it throws me so much. Science. Who gets it. Not I. Surprisingly, Science For Life never covered broken escalator science. This is what's wrong with our educational institutions.

Morning Doodlin'

Book Review Wednesday by Crazyjedidiah

Emily Ever After
by Anne Dayton & May Vanderbilt.

Review by Crazyjedidiah

Emily Hinton moves from small town California to Manhattan, to work in her dream job in the world famous publishing house Morrow and sons. Trying to fit in to the sophisticated new world, she befriends the girls at work and learns how to get by. She also falls into a whirlwind romance with Bennet but after spending Thanksgiving at his parents house she questions if he is really what she is looking for. Adding to this confusion is the boy she left behind in her hometown who suddenly reappears in her life. Her life at work is also getting complicated as an ambitious editor is trying to get a controversial book published by breaking the rules. This gives Emily a big dilemma as the book goes against everything Emily believes in. What will she do?

A Christian Chick-lit book inspired by the Biblical book of Esther, which is a really interesting concept, I did enjoy the book, however there were a couple of spots I struggled with, in fact I put the book down for a few years before I finished it. I did enjoy the outcome but I felt that the 'Esther' bits were just tacked on to a Christian chick-lit novel. The authors have written a couple of other books inspired by Biblical stories but I haven't read them.

It is a good book to read and if you are at all interested in this type of book I do recommend it, however there are one or two iffy bits.

Thanks for the review! Go check out Crazyjedidiah's blog, Gibberish.

Back Soon

Sorry folks, things are just a bit on top of me.

Back soon.

I Heart Spam

'Could I just say such a comfort to search out person who essentially knows what they’re discussing on the internet. You definitely find out how to bring an issue to light and enable it to be very important. More people require to study this particular and know it section of the story. I cant believe you aren’t very popular because you surely have the gift.'

As do you, my friend. As do you.

Gimme Five

How many five cent pieces do you feel comfortable handing over when you buy something? My limit is four. On a really good day.

Which is prolly why I have a sack of the things lying around at home.

I wish I was the kind of person who didn't care. It's legal tender, after all.

How To Make Me Crash My Car

I was driving through Engadine at dusk the other day, and apparently it's council cleanup time. On the curb outside every house were massive piles of junk, old furniture, tele's, broken laundry baskets, random wooden planks with tetanus-y old nails sticking out. Gold.

For some reason, this has a kid-in-a-candy-shop effect on me; I get very, very excited by piles of junk. I was swerving all over the road narrowly missing telegraph poles, power walkers, neighbourhood cats and the occasional car coming in the opposite direction.

Unfortunately I was in a rush, (and also unfortunately I'd be roused on for bringing home more old crap- E gets as excited as I do about council cleanups, but she gets excited about getting rid of stuff, whereas I basically see it as a treasure hunt). But oh, how I wanted to just pull over and walk along those suburban streets, poring at my leisure through other people's wasted goodness.

Imagine how rich I'd be in (slight electric shock inducing) white goods, lounge chairs (with a vague fragrance of urine), old novels about romantic encounters in the Outback ("G'day, I'm the new jackaroo in town, I'm looking for the old Watson property?, he said, his stony eyes blazing in the flame grilled sunset").

It saddens me deeply to think of the treasures I've missed out on, that are now just landfill.

Thursday Peanuts

To Tell People You Have A Blog, Or Not To Tell People You Have A Blog, That Is The Question

Nath at St. Eutychus wrote a really interesting post about how and when to tell people you have a blog--

At what point in the process of meeting new people do you drop the “I have a blog” or “I’m a blogger” bombshell? Obviously we all blog for attention. Right.

I’m a little self-conscious these days because sometimes people talk to me about my blog(s), in front of people I’ve just met, or people who don’t know I blog, and those people respond in one of a few ways, none good, some will say “why didn’t you tell me you had a blog” or “I can’t believe you have a blog. You nerdo loser”… or then I just feel the need to go into sales pitch mode about why people should read my blog, or some sort of justification about why I blog, or that falsely humble “oh that old thing…” Although, like in the parable of the sower (awesome analogy for blogging) there are some people who become regular readers, who even comment some times, and I like that..

Hmmmmm. This is something I often ponder. When I started a blog a few years back, I was surprised to find that the people who I most pictured reading it (close friends, siblings etc)were the ones who didn't. Whereas I found that I met all these new people through blogging, and they were the ones mostly who read it. (An indication of this is that out of the 14 people who did Mondays' quiz, I only know 3 of those in 'real life')

With this surprise, I had to readjust my thinking a bit. To be honest, I did have ongoing angst about those close mates, family etc who didn't read. I kind of felt like I was saying stuff I wasn't saying elsewhere, and I wanted them to see it. But what I had to learn is that not everyone is interested in turning on the computer to read some online diary thing by someone they know, regardless of how close they are. You're either a person who will naturally do that, or your not.

You can't force them, or resent them for not being that kind of person. I think it's fair enough for people to have the attitude of 'if you want me to know something, pick up the phone and tell me. Don't expect me to religiously follow you online'. I get that now, I think.

So, back in the super early days when I'd written about 3 posts, I sent out a big group email telling every man and his dog that I had a blog. I wince when I think of that now, and regret doing it. Hey everyone that I know- come and read three posts about nothing.

My stance these days, is that you should just primarily write a blog for your own satisfaction, and let nature take it's course. Eventually people will see it or hear of it, and then if they want they can have a read, without the pressure of PLEASE READ MY BLOG I NEED YOU TO LOVE ME. It may be different people to what you were expecting, but who cares? It's nice meeting new people anyway. That's one of the things I've liked the most about this blog- making new friendships.

It's a lot like when I played in bands, and you'd tell people you had a gig coming up. They're your mates, but there's only so many times they can be bothered coming along to some dive of a pub to watch your band play. Don't expect the wrong people to be interested.

Everybody would like to grow their readership. But I reckon you're better off looking for readers amongst people who actually read blogs, otherwise you're just in for disappointment. Read other blogs, comment on other blogs, and have a bit of an online presence, and then eventually people might click to see who you are. Then you don't have to do all that icky self promotion stuff.

What do you think about all this? Is it strange to tell people you have a blog? And is it stranger to tell new acquaintances, or old ones? Is self promotion a turn off?

God is not a man, that he should lie,
nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?

~Numbers 23:19

Don't You Hate It When..

..You're in a hurry to get your shoes off, and you yank your laces the wrong way, creating a knot rather than undoing it? And then you have to fuss around trying to undo that, meaning your shoes are on for even longer? And because you bite your nails you have to get in there with your teeth to get it undone?

Vanishing Point. Tackling the big issues since 2008.

Book Review Wednesday by Jess

Erast Fandorin Mysteries
By Boris Akunin

Review By Jess

I love a good series. Sometimes the library is overwhelming, so I like the chance to return to familiar characters and a trusted author, but still get a different plot each time. Agatha Christie is good for that. And I have now found the Erast Fandorin books, created by Boris Akunin and set in Russia at the end of the Tsarist era. Erast Petrovich Fandorin is a gentleman who has a sort of polite sex appeal, Hercule Poirot powers of deduction, ninja skills, is a cunning master of disguise, and has a stutter. And he solves crime.

I don't find the plots always very easy to follow, sometimes because the Russian names confuse me. Murder on the Leviathan is a good book because it's on a cruise ship full of rich Westerners who are easy to remember, rather than a battlefield full of Russian officers all with 4 syllable names. But I still like them. They are generally not gory or rude, have a few good plot twists, and the social and political setting is quite different. Books worth investigating if you like mystery serieses.

Thanks, Jess!

The Ideal Blog

I wish someone out there would write a blog about-

*Heartfelt stuff
*Christianity
*Painting
*Heavy Metal
*Comic Books
*80's Indie Bands
*60's pop
*Bonsai
*Cooking
*Funny stuff

This blog would be truly awesome, and I would love it to death. Can one of you please make this blog for me? thanks.

What would be on your ideal blog?

Autumn

Happy first day of Autumn!

Everybody after me: All the leaves are brown.. Consider yourself pinched and punched, but in a good way.

To me Autumn is vaguely melancholy. I have a very romantic view of Summer, and when it ends I get this sensation of loss. Winter for me is real melancholy. So for me, Autumn is like the last day of a holiday. It's still really pleasant, but it feels like the beginning of the end, and I can't quite enjoy it because I'm mourning what's been and gone, and I'm thinking about what's coming next.

What is Autumn to you?