Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Unquiet Slumbers

I am a sleepwalker.

Actually it's not so much that I walk as much as get up, talk and fuss about. I am not so deeply asleep that I don't remember it all, and know what I'm doing, but I am just enough asleep that I believe everything that is happening is 100% real.

It has gotten pretty bad since little e was born, and I feel bad for E because I disturb her sleep a lot. Ever since the baby was born, I have had the same recurring dream, over and over and over, and quite regularly. It's wearing pretty thin.

Basically, the dream goes that little e is in the bed with us, and her head has gone under the blankets, and she can't breathe. I sit up frantically and feel around trying to find her head quickly before she suffocates. Or, little e is about to fall out of the bed, and I am hanging on to her feet for dear life. Although it feels very real and frightening to me, to E it is basically me jumping about in bed with flailing hands, chattering and scaring the life out of her.

It happened last night, and I slowly came to my senses with E angrily repeating 'those are MY legs!', as I gripped her ankles with all my might, thinking she was the baby about to fall to her death. I said "well what do you want me to do, just let her fall?" She was very angry that I was doing it again. I was very angry that once again she seemed to not care that her child was on the verge of death.

Anyone know any remedies? Otherwise I might end up sleeping on the couch.

6 comments:

onlinesoph said...

I don't have any remedies, but you're not alone.

I hit Sam in my sleep the other night. Like, HARD.

trish said...

I'm sorry Ben, I know this is very serious, but you made me totally LOL with that last paragraph. Very funny.

uuuuuuhhhhhhmmmmm....but on a much more serious note, I can see how this would be totally infuriating for E.

Perhaps a few underlying feelings/fears need to be explored?

lu said...

I don't have any suggestions. My husband does something similar when he is getting ready for a big speaking engagement (anxiety). He usually doesn't touch me but wakes me up when he is talking and/or walking around our room.

It used to freak me out a bit. Now I just tell him to go back to sleep and he does.

Maybe try praying each night before you fall asleep for little e and visualize her in her Heavenly Father's arms - safe and secure. Just a thought.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Soph-- oh no! that's what I dread doing. I try to convince E that at least I'm trying to save people in my dreams, not hurt them.. She is still scared though.

Trish-- Yeah, I was talking to E last night and she suggested the same thing, that there were underlying fears to think about. I think that is probably true--some sort of fear of losing the baby, and trying to hold onto control.

Lu-- Yeah it seems to happen with me when I am either anxious or over-tired.

that is good advice. E suggested this last night as well-- to pray before I go to sleep, for little e. Thanks for your advice and thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Why would you sleep on the couch? I know it's a joke but still... you're having a unconscious experience and you want to save your baby. I see nothing wrong with that. I think your wife should be a bit more supportive I mean... you're sleeping for Pete's sake!

Ben McLaughlin said...

Thanks for taking on a noble cause Andi-- but yeah, it was a joke. I'm not going to the couch any time soon, and in defense of my wife, she has been very patient.

btw--I checked out your sight. You are an awesome photographer, mate.