Meeting People Is Hard

This morning on the train I was watching this guy bopping away to the music in his headphones. He looked pretty ridiculous, but he seemed pretty pleased with himself. He was a big, tall guy, but was wearing a suit that looked about five sizes too big. He seemed pretty suave and confident, so I suspect he was one of those peeps who loses a stack of weight, leaving him brimming with confidence, and feeling good to go.

So our man noticed this girl sitting near him, and obviously feeling pretty irresistible, decided to make a move. I winced, and wanted to look away, but couldn't. Don't do it! I thought, but he ignored my ESP warnings. He took off his headphones, and slid across the seat towards the girl, and said "Sooooo.. good weekend?". "yes thanks", she replied, confused, and looked the other way.

"Sooo.. going to North Sydney?"
"No".
"Cool. Cool. Soooo.. you studying?"
"No, working." Looks the other direction.
"Oh, cool, cool. Sooooooooooooo..."

This horrid state of affairs continued for another several questions that led nowhere for our poor man. There was then a period of silence, and you could tell he was racking his brains for that one great line that might get him a foot in the door. But he had nothing. His ammunition was spent. He looked very sad.

Slowly, very slowly, almost invisibly to the naked eye, he started to slide back where he had come from. He then very carefully brought his legs back around to face the front. Then one headphone slowly went back in. Wait. Wait. No sudden moves. Then the other one. Then a slow reach into his pocket and a fumble for the play button. And it was over. The girl, and the rest of the vestibule heaved a sigh of relief.

Meeting people is hard.