Through the Curtain

One thing I would love to change about myself, is my big mouth. Actually two things-- my big mouth and my short temper. The combination of these two things working together is ugly and shameful.

This is quite a personal thing to write about, I guess, but I feel like I need to work through it in order to get on with this new day and not get too bogged down with it. Yesterday I went off at someone, quite publicly, and blurted out some rubbish that I shouldn't have. I immediately regretted it, and apologised and tried to do my best to patch up the damage.

In a sense, the case is closed and everything is fine now. It is probably almost forgotten about. But for me it lingers and plays on my mind, and gets me really down. In a lot of ways sin can be quite a private struggle, and so when those times come when your failings are suddenly thrown into the open, it can be pretty humiliating and humbling.

I guess I just need to look at where I go from here. There is nothing particularly helpful about wallowing in guilt and regret. God does not want us to hang around lamenting in our stagnant bog. That's what the devil wants. No, God wants to wash us clean and get us moving forward again as quickly as possible.

Why is it it that I'm still troubled and worried about it? I guess it's because I have cleared it up with the person, but haven't worked through it properly with God.

There is a wonderful truth about confession and repentance that I continually lose sight of. It is fast. You repent and mean it, and the sin is gone, accounted for through Jesus, taken care of. You are forgiven. There's nothing righteous about carrying around a guilt trip for weeks. All this does is keep our eyes on our self, and off the task at hand. When we repent, God takes away the burden of our sin. And He takes it far away.

As far as the east is from the west,
so far has He removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)

How can He take it so far? How can we be seen as so flawless, when we know we are still so flawed? Because when we repent God no longer sees our unrighteous state. He now only sees the righteous state of His son, who stands in our place. Praise God for this amazing truth!

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:19-24)