E often rouses on me for being critical or judgemental of people, particularly when we are out and about. Often I don't even have to say anything -just an expression on my face and I get told off.But you see, it is not that I am judging. It is righteous indignation. If people were not so ridiculous, I would be more tolerant.
Yesterday at the playground in Summer Hill (where all the parents are sort of old and snooty and the kids annoying and precocious) there were many people inviting my wrath. Begging for it.
"Oscar, it's time to give Marmaduke a turn on the swing."
Marmaduke.
And this is not the family pet being referred to either. Don't want my scorn? Don't subject your child to a ridiculous name. Simple as that.
It's the child that my heart bleeds for. Thirteen years of schooling ahead of him, carrying the loathsome burden of being called Marmaduke. It is right and good that I should be angry.
Then this other kid is swinging on one swing, while I push little e on the other. He's about six, with a skivvy and longish hair. Probably named Tarquin or something.
"Watch this", he boasts. "I can swing with no hands. Watch me. I can do this for hours. Look. See I don't even have to hold on."
Little e is a one year old and is also swinging with no hands. Hey Tarquin, my one year old is swinging as good as you.
Is my attitude wrong? Should I not roll my eyes? Should I listen to my disapproving wife? He is just a kid after all..
But then, on cue, an answer is given, and the cosmos deals out its justice. Mid boast, Tarquin tumbles backwards off the swing and lands on his head. Not enough to concuss, just enough to batter his inflated pride. This, friends, is why you don't coo-ee until you're through the bush.
And so in conclusion, I maintain that it is right to feel righteous indignation about kids bearing cartoon dog names, and to feel a sense of satisfaction when an annoying kid gets a little comeuppance. It's right just because it is. The defense rests, your Honour.
9 comments:
Benno in the wash up, this is why you and i get on so well.
I cannot convey strongly enough, how much i agree with your sentiments in thios particular post. Just can't.
I get the same tisk tisks and sighs from my beloved and i still don't know why my perception cannot be accepted.
Marmaduke. There are no words to describe (well not politely, anyway) how I feel about that entire arrangement. The parents, the name, the child and his subsequent treatment and of course, the inevitable destruction of another good kid's (we can hope) school years...
As for Jervaquin.
Sucked in idiot. I'm still observing Jervaquin everyday going through the same process in every thing I do...
I love it.
Feel free to vent to me anytime mate. I'm all ears!!!
right- you're on my jury.
I feel the same way, Ben! Both about the names (Marmaduke??) and punk kids.
love it!
I work as a casual teacher and I can normally pick the trouble makers simply by reading the names on the roll - before the kids even arrive. Boys called Preston or Xanda (like 'Panda' except with a 'z' sound) don't stand a chance.
I often wonder whether people think about their childs future lives. I mean, are you going to hire Marmaduke Q.C? Or trust Molly or Tiger with the RBA?
re: Simone's comment about certain names indicating behavioural problems... I don't think anyone understands the power of nominative determinism like teachers. I don't know how I'm ever going to choose names for our children. So many have been ruined already!
Ben, you should consider a career in writing. That is just so funny - and sadly ringing with truth! I would have secretly, or maybe not so secretly, cheered when the kid fell off the swing.
An old problem - haven't you heard Johnny Cash sing about it?
it's nice to have some kindred spirits. I thought people might tsk tsk me.
Yeah, E is a teacher too, and so many names have been spoilt for her. Also from our scooling years. It pains me-- some of my favourite names won't get a look in because E 'knew someone at school..'
I guess it's back to the drawing board of names now that Maraduke and Tarquin are out of the question!
Joking! I used to have a Guinea Pig called Marmaduke!
That's child cruelty right there!
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