Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Last Post For A Bit

This will probably be my last post for a week or so.

On Monday I begin my intensive speech therapy course, and want to just concentrate solely on that for the week. The course runs for a week, and then I go back for a weekly session for the following seven weeks. I'll be in the course each day, 9-5 and then have 'home work' as well each night, so I'm thinking I won't have time for much else.

Here's a random list of how I'm feeling about it--

1. Glad the wait is over, and that I can just get stuck into it.

2. Apprehensive. Fearful of tackling this big thing, and beginning something that is going to be a lot of hard work for a long, long time to come.

3. Happy that things are going to be different, no matter what.

4. Daunted by other people's expectations of me. I'm not going to come out 'cured', just with a new way of managing my stutter. I fear seeing people's expression of 'oh, I thought you'd come out sounding better than that'.

5. So thankful for my beautiful, patient, supportive E.

6. Excited about what the changes will probably be: Not being terrified of the phone, my heart sinking and my palms sweating every time it rings. Being bolder in talking to those around me, expressing myself more. Praying out loud. Ordering the food that I want rather than pointing to something I don't want because it's easier. Knowing I'm doing what I can to tackle my short-comings rather than being conquered by them.

7. Exposed. Having all these people knowing what I'm doing, and asking about something that has always been under lock and key, too private to talk about.

8. Very grateful for how supportive everyone's been.

9. Kinda emotional.

10. Trusting in God.

11. Happy.

I'd appreciate your prayers, and look forward to telling you how it goes. Have a great week, friends.


Pedro said...

All the best brethra.

Aimee said...

I'll be praying for you this coming week Ben.

Good on you for making such a big step towards what you've been wanting to work on for a while.

lu said...

I'll be praying for you Ben.

Simone R. said...

me too. go well.

Anonymous said...

Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Ben, I will pray that God will continually encourage you and your family throughout the week... and of course, we all miss your posts.

All the best,

Stuart Heath said...

Well, my in-box will be the sadder for it, but since Jesus says, "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others," I guess it's not all about me :P

We'll be praying it go well.

Guthers said...

All the best mate.

kristina said...

I will be praying for you too.