Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sneeze-Swallowers

You know what annoys me? People who can't sneeze properly. Instead of just doing a regular 'ah-CHOO!' they stifle and swallow it, and do an annoying little 'AH-hmph'.

Now, I know this is a choice, so that's why I'm allowed to be angry at you if you do it. Are sneezes so deplorable that they must be silenced and avoided at all cost? And you may well think it's all very polite and well-mannered, but really you are putting your health at risk.

Have you ever seen an X-ray of a sneeze-swallower? I saw a medical journal one time. It's not pretty. All the filth and repugnance that your body is trying to expel, you are gulping it up, keeping it in, and in essence poisoning yourself.

Of course there are rules. Cover your mouth. Use a hanky. But, as a rule, let it out. Repeat after me, friends: Ah- CHOOOO!!!

6 comments:

Pedro said...

It'll do a lot less harm to you (keeping it in) than if you release all that snot and bacterial material into the air where anyone within 20 meteres will injest your filthy, diseased expulsion.
PRAISE the 'swallowers'....
Keep it to your self I say.

Ben McLaughlin said...

obviously someone who hasn't seen the X-ray.

Tracy said...

I agree with you Ben. Besides how satisfying a good sneeze is. My best friend always would pinch her nose and stifle her sneezes. I told her that her head was likely to explode one day.

Stuart Heath said...

Sneezing is such a joyous experience, and all-too rare. What kind of masochist would want to hold it in?

Anonymous said...

It all depends how public it is and whether or not you have a tissue. If I'm in the middle of church, in the middle of an isle without a hankie, I'm gonna hold that sucker in.

What happens when you get booger all over your hands? you just hold your hands there at your mouth, full of booger and wondering where you can wipe your hands without anyone noticing...even though everyone is, and are all wondering just where the heck that booger is going to go, and to make sure they don't shake your hand at the end of the service.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Tracy and Stuart-- exactly. Satisfying is right. Why deprive yourself of such a pleasure?

Geoff, you raise a different point: taking one for the team. I agree that on occasions such as the one you describe, a stifle may be an act of love, and therefore trumping your own right to a pleasurable experience.

But still, I would argue that a good, well accomplished sneezer can train his mouth to sneeze without expeling what you scientifically call 'booger'. It is an art to be practiced, and one that I have mastered.