Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Monday, May 11, 2009

Tomboy?

I've been wondering lately if I am fostering a tomboy in Little e.

Right from the beginning, she and I have tickled and wrestled, thrown each other about, and generally beat each other up. From time to time I have gotten a tsk tsk from people who have thought I was too rough with her, seeing as though she's a girl, but in my mind I have always just done what felt natural, and disregarded the tsk's.

E hasn't criticised, but I guess she thinks maybe a little more care should be taken to avoid the occasional tears or bruises. My take on that is that my bruises heal fairly quickly, and I generally don't cry for very long. And there's an unspoken understanding between little e and I that this comes with the territory. You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

But I was wondering, well, if I had had a boy first, and then had little e, would I now treat her differently? Would I have gotten the rough-and-tumble stuff out of my system with the boy, and then treated little e like a dainty little princess? Or have I just responded to her being a pretty robust, strong natured little kid, and done what was appropriate with her?

I wonder.

6 comments:

Pedro said...

Benno, your heart is in the right place. You have nothing but the best wishes for your daughter and the constant laughter and excitement she experiences can only mean she is having the time of her life.
Tsk Tsk my eye. Tell 'em to go wrap marmaduke in cotton wool while your little girl become a strong, adaptable young person who will know how to handle herself.

Good job brethra.

Anonymous said...

I'll let you know when my little girl starts to get a bit older. Noah and I wrestle all the time, and I'm continually throwing him in the air etc etc.

I think with girls, you can do all that rough stuff, but as long as you're affectionate and she knows you think shes beautiful, all will be fine...and I should know, I've been a dad for nearly two years.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Thanks Pete. You know, I attribute some of it to working with you for several years.. As a consequence I can't walk past my daughter without squeezing her knee or jabbing her in the side to tickle her.

Hey geoff. Yeah, I agree. As long as you give her the other side too, and I feel like I do that. Lot's of cuddles and calling her my pricess.. You can be both a princess and a warrior, I believe.

RodeoClown said...

I've got two boys and a a girl (in that order).

I throw my daughter around and rumble with her about as much as I do my boys (probably moreso).

I don't think it will be a problem as she grows older, obviously our interactions will change when she's no longer a toddler or a little kid. I think your 'e' will just know that she's loved by her dad, and that the way that love is shown doesn't matter too much (as long as she enjoys the rumbling, of course :)).

Ben McLaughlin said...

Hey Rodeo,

thanks, that's comforting to hear from one who's been there..

RodeoClown said...

@Ben - my boys are 5 and 3, my daughter is 15months or so - so I don't think I'm that far ahead of you in the daughter side of things...