One of the things that irks me most about you ladies is that funny old thing you call 'foundation', or The Clay Face.What is your face, that it needs to have a new foundation applied to build upon? You are not a cleared vacant block awaiting a truck to come and pour down a cement slab on which to build. Your face is your face, so why are you burying it so deep that it is beyond excavation?
If it was a little bit, and blended in, well that's one thing. But what's with that thing where your face is dark orange, but then stops abruptly at the jaw, and from the chin down it's back to a normal whitey-pink hue? Are you in a play? Are you being theatrical? Are you a piece of living sculpture?
Worse still,the offenders are getting younger and younger. I see school girls with the Clay Face. This saddens me. And you know what I saw the other day? A dude with Clay Face. Yes, that's right. The sickness has become so strong that it's jumped genders.
Come on friends. I implore you.
7 comments:
C'mon, Ben, I've seen your blogger profile pic, and it's clear you can't understand. We don't all have your flawless complexion and evergreen looks.
Yeah, I spose. I'm sort of the Gary Coleman of the blog world.
I wear foundation about twice a year, so I am no expert on this matter. But I will point out that women (and apparently men) buy foundation inside shopping centres, where the lights are a strange purple-y white and a lady with a thick European accent tells you with a great show of relief 'That looks MUCH better darlink'. Then we take it home and put some on in front of the mirror and think... 'hmmm... that seems a bit orange... but the lady was so sure it looked OK - it must be I that am wrong!' And voila - clay face!
I wonder if those same Europeans install those mirrors in changerooms that actually make clothes look okay on me at the time.
Like Jo, I wear foundation about twice a year - and that's only if I remember to pack it when I fly home for a cousin's wedding.
I have some alternate explanations for the colour and jaw-line mismatch. One is that when she first bought it, she was that colour after having been at the beach / pool all summer. Years later she still thinks that that is "her" colour (and by this time she's seen it on her face every day for years so she truly believes it) so she keeps buying the same colour. She hasn't realised that she now has a skin-cancer reduced risk (but obesity inducing) office job that keeps her face naturally pale so should go for a lighter shade if she insists on wearing it at all.
The second idea is that she's been enchanted by the name of the product and bought "Buff" on spec when she should have gone for "Almond".
The third is that she's never been taught any decent basic technique for applying the stuff so thinks that since it's applied to the face it goes no further than the face. Of course, just under the jaw is where you get the palest skin as the jaw's shadow stops the sun from reaching that area to tan it. Voila, a face that matches the arms but not the neck.
I was looking in a catalogue the other day and noticed that you could have quite a range of different colours to (possibly) suit your face unless you happened to have dark skin - nothing to match. It either can't be made or someone thinks that a person with seriously dark skin won't want / buy it.
You'll be pleased to know that there are some schools that insist on no make-up (drama productions and formal night excepted) and teachers will happily tell someone to leave the room and come back when it has been removed.
http://images.smh.com.au/2009/10/05/770315/katy_perry_420-420x0.jpg
Stuart - is that the real deal or a wax work?
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