How do you sign off letters and emails? From? Love? Regards? Faithfully yours?This is an area I struggle with. I think I know the basic principals, but they don't satisfy me, and I can never find the right sign off for any given situation.
Some scenarios. Okay, a letter to my wife or family member, that's easy. Love. But from there it becomes tricky. A close male friend? Well, I don't like 'from'. It sounds cold and weird. But 'love' sounds too bromantic. 'Regards' sounds ridiculous and business like. So I get confined to dumb stuff like 'see ya' and 'catch you later'.
And what if it's a close friend of the opposite sex? 'From' still sounds too cold. 'Love' could be taken as too full-on. You see the bind? I often just throw my hands up hopelessly and resort to no sign off at all. Just paragraph, and then 'Ben'.
I need more options, and ones better suited to each circumstance. And I resent the restrictions and confines. Usually, if I am writing to a friend of either sex, the natural thing to me feels like 'Love Ben'. I want to say love. Love is good. But I don't want to be seen as Mr Hot n' Heavy Pen Friend Who Comes On Too Strong.
Am I the only one with these conundrums?
42 comments:
Oh, man, I feel it. When I lived in France, I picked up the habit of signing off 'A+' (French for 'later'). I've never been able to shake the habit, and I'm convinced that it's mostly because I lack the expulsive power of a new affectionate sign-off. The horror.
I have rules about this.
kind regards - professional sign off
regards - professional sign off for people who are rude to me
love - family and all female friends
In Christ - christian male friends (nice side-step here, avoids too intense a sentiment) and christian acquaintances
Cheers - all acquaintances, male friends who don't fall into the christian category, work contacts who I'm friendly with, but don't know personally.
When all else fails, I use "cheers" - I work with lots of English people, so picked up the habit from them.
Whe
I generally go with "Cheers"
At work I normally just use "- Ian"
Whe
A+ is French? How so,Stuart?
Nice sidestep, Soph. 'In Christ' is a good one I could use with Christy friends who are girls. It has a lot of gravity though, which might seem a bit heady sometimes.
Not sold on cheers, though I do use it.
Why did you wo just say 'Whe'?
More French?
I find the "In Christ" thing a bit cheesy - but that could just be me.
I also have issues with starting emails/letters too.
I feel like I have to say something before launching into what I really want to say - so you'll often get a "How's life treating you these days".
Whe
Can someone explain Whe before I get cross?
Would we like you when you get cross?
Whe
I Googled it and found out that it's Wildhorse Energy Ltd, so sucked in, your foolish games didn't even work.
So Whe that.
tell me
I'm just waiting to see if Soph will respond...
Whe(ee!)
I don't think "In Christ" is cheesy at all! Why is it cheesy? Does that mean I have to take my Jesus fish of the car?? hehe.
Whe was a typo - the last paragraph for some reason copied itself in my editing, and I tried to delete it, but was left with "whe".
wheee!
Thanks for explaining that for Ben :)
I just thought I'd keep it going for fun...
I'm not saying it is (in itself) cheesy - but it would be if it came from me. If Ian Tyrrell (that's me) was to stick that at the end of an email to you, you could probably assume I was being either a) pretentious, or b) a parody.
And I refuse to have a Jesus fish on the car, because I can't drive perfectly - and it invites people to critique Jesus based on my ability to drive.
Ooh, I forgot...
Whe!
This is probably 'cheesy' as well but I often sign off my ministry emails 'Grace & Peace'. And with my ministry emails I often sign off 'thanks' or 'thank you' cause I coordinate a bunch of volunteers for a special needs ministry and they give and serve their hearts out all the time and I am so graterul!
I have girlfriends who sign of 'blessings'. I like it but seems more of a girly sign off - maybe that's just me.
If I'm writing a quick, informal email I don't have a 'sign off' - I just end with my name. Sometimes not even that.
BTW, Ben, do you actually handwrite letters to anyone anymore? Just asking cause I don't. It's really a lost art these days, isn't it?
whe!
lu
Yeah, I know lu, it's sad that we hardly write letters anymore. As a reciever, it's so much more satisfying to see a nice handwritten envelope, than see another email drop in your inbox.
I don't mind the 'thanks' option.
whe!
And I refuse to have a Jesus fish on the car, because I can't drive perfectly - and it invites people to critique Jesus based on my ability to drive.
Me too.
I like "Cheers" but nobody says that here unless they are drinking.
Whe
Wow. Lots of comments. Maybe I should take a week off and people will miss me and stuff...
Now, to the question at hand.
I like to sign my missives off with an "in ___"
Where the ____ is a variable based on whatever it is that joins us.
So, to my Christian friends, when writing about ministry - it'll either be "in him" or "in Christ" - I think that's an appropriate homage to the days when Christians scratched little fish into the ground. I am against Jesus fish on the basis that they should be scratched into the very fibre of the car, and not some sticky afterthought. Get committed, or go home.
If I am writing about blogging to someone - I might then write "in blogging"...
If I am writing expecting a reply - "in anticipation"...
If I am writing about coffee - "in coffee"...
You can tailor your response to suit every situation, and it's a little less formulaic.
In commenting,
Nathan
In Whe?
I feel mocked for my typo :(
(not really, just joking...)
Sorry Soph,
I didn't mean to mock you. I just thought it was a funny typo, that just happened to fall where the subject of our discussion was.
All my mockery was aimed at Ben :)
Whe!
Oh the dangers of written communication! Some choose to avoid them by not taking up a pen at all! I wrote this a while ago about the perils of the greeting card. Life was easier when all we had to write was 'To x, from y' and the hallmark men took responsibility for the rest.
I've found myself using 'All the best' quite a lot. It's mildly different, it's a bit more formal than cheers (my other stand-by) and yet not quite as committed as 'love'. At the moment many of my emails are responses to students asking for extensions because something more or less awful has happened to them... so it seems extra appropriate to wish them well!
I'm a 'lover' by instinct, quite often. So how do you deal with those female friends, eh?
If it's a female friend who;s known to my wife too, then I just add her to the email (if she sees it or I know shares the sentiments in the email). Easy. :)
I could do it now.
Hey Simone! You're cool. :)
Love,
Kutz and Meli.
See how easy it is? ;)
Back in 1992, when I first started using e-mail, I used to sign off "Cheers". I got it from our impossibly cool Computing teacher (it wasn't called IT in those days), Martin Levins (http://www.macworld.com.au/blogs/author/17/)
But then it came into vogue, and everyone was using. Suddenly it wasn't cutting-edge hip any more. In fact, if anything, I would've had to sign off "Cheers. And by the way, I've been signing off this way for years. So I'm actually hip, not wannabe hip." But that was a bit long.
I start emails with 'heya' or 'hey' then the name. Works for me...
End them? I don't think I often even write my name, let alone have an ending word or two!
I don't very often write 'love', although it's been known to happen... I write 'your Ruth' when I write to AB.... just trying to think.... what do I do?
I'm pro the 'in Christ' thing, especially if it's a hard letter or email to write...
I can't stand 'cheers' - please don't anyone send me an email/letter with a 'cheers' on it. It's not part of my tea-totaling culture.
I think I just try to give variety in ending my letters, so rarely finish them the same way more than once.
Sorry, Ben, I didn't answer your question: 'later' in French is '`a plus tard', often shortened to '`a plus'.
Irritatingly, this text box won't let me do accented letters.
I use "Cheers, Laetitia :-)" for a non-formal situation and at work I use "Regards," (the sig is taken care of by the system).
Cheers,
Laetitia :-)
I just want to join in so I can say whe.
Whe.
From now on I will sign off with whe. I have nothing profound to say.
Whe.
It is a beautiful irony that a post bemoaning a lack of a suitable sign off has itself spawned one.
Three Whe's for Soph-
Whe!
Whe!
Whe!
"Nice sidestep"
Just to throw a tentative line out...
Why use "in Christ" as a sidestep? Do we really mean the following:
"I'm too embarrassed to write anything more affectionate, but I want to make some (not too full-on) gesture of fellow feeling, so I'll settle on religious vaguery?"
Are we not devaluing being in Christ here? Why should this be considered a sidestep?
I'm not trying to get all holier-than-thou. I'm just trying to point out that people are using something that should be incredibly positive as an empty-ish substitute, and speaking about it in slightly negative ways.
If you want to look up some creative, interesting and appropriate sign-off's, get a book of letters from the library by someone you admire... you'd be surprised by what some people do write.
Yeah, you make a good point Drew, though I would say that was maybe reading more weight into something kind of meant as a joke.
Saying it's a side-step, doesn't neccessarily mean I won't mean it when I say it. But that is a good reminder, and I agree with the sentiment of not cheapening something great.
Hey Drew,
I did make a joke about it being a sidestep to keep in style with Ben's funny post, but I actually do mean it when I say, "In Christ" (hence why if I say it, I don't feel it's really being that cheesy). I'm sorry if I didn't really communicate that in my comment, but it is not a negative, hollow sign off to me by any means!!
For me, it's a tie over from youth group, when we all used to write letters to each other (life before facebook and msn!) and sign them "YSIC" - Your Sister in Christ". For me, In christ, is kind of the grown up version of that. I like the sentiment behind it - that what unites us is our fellowship in Jesus.
I guess why some find it cheesy is because it is overused and possibly cliched, so the criticism may be to find an original way of saying the same thing. As for me, I'm okay with overused sentiments if they ring true.
My father always opens his emails with "Greetings in the Lord!!", and I love it. It starts the email with a great tone and sentiment, and reflects my dad perfectly - jovial in his passion for Christ. Maybe there should be more of that in our email correspondences!
So to answer your question: "Do we really mean the following:
"I'm too embarrassed to write anything more affectionate, but I want to make some (not too full-on) gesture of fellow feeling, so I'll settle on religious vaguery?"
Not at all! I'm a bit offended that you think that, but I can see how I would have given that impression in my comment.
In Christ,
Soph
blessings
Geoff
I quite like reading emails that are signed off "S.D.G" Bach style...
Hey...
The ever-present blog problem: I didn't pick up the jokiness. And my apologies - I did not mean to offend.
I tend to attach a great deal of importance to any written communication I receive, or write to others, so perhaps I jumped on it a little!
S.D.G.?
So, Dawg--Goodbye?
Soli Deo Gloria, to the Glory of God alone.
Whe!
Problem there is that because I am not Latin (?)I would have to use the english translation to not be pretentious. And T.T.G.O.G.A just doesn't have the same ring.
Or maybe it does. You try saying it out loud, it's quite fun:
TuT-GOGA!
Well, Tutgoga! and whe! are definately my favourites so far.
Drew's given me an idea. I could sign-off like Humphrey Lyttleton!
And so, as the unwary toad of time strays too close to the lawnmower of eternity, and the nursing mother of fate issues her final soporific coos, I bid you farewell.
no worries drew :)
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