Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Friday, September 25, 2009

My Deepest Desire

You know what I'd like to get? One of those old-people trolley things. They appeal to me very much. I like that they fly in the face of current trends, where everything has to be tiny and compact.

Those things are massive, and ungainly. When old people walk with them they take out toddlers and (supposedly) unintentionally knock passers-by on the shins. Make way, I'm coming through with my trolley full of apples and bulk-bought toilet paper.

This is what I want to be. How old do you suppose you need to be to use one? I'm guessing maybe about 67. Only 35 years to wait. I'll bide my time.

I'd like to put some cool patches on mine, of metal band logos. I'd carry a ghetto blaster in there with some mix-tapes. Yes, tapes. None of this tiny mp3 business. I'd put in a footy for when I'm bored, and maybe various food supplies, like canned stew and stuff like that. An assortment of books and comics for train trips. So much potential to be tapped.

Oh, my kingdom for an old-person trolley.

12 comments:

RodeoClown said...

You don't put a ghetto blaster in it. You strap it to the top with occy straps.

Ben McLaughlin said...

nice. I'm definately feeling that.

RodeoClown said...

Everyone will be feeling it if you crank the bass!

Just be careful you don't end up Vulcan-neck-pinched.

goldy said...

One of my work colleagues who is 47 has one. He brings it to work and buys veges from paddy's markets. It's bright orange. I keep hiding it from him.

Ben McLaughlin said...

fair point, fair point.

Amy said...

Really, who makes up these rules about what age you have to be to have one? I say to you - if you want one, go for it... Then you get kudos for rejecting the status quo...

Ben McLaughlin said...

Goldy- Nice work on the hiding thing. i'm all for hiding other people's stuff. You should hide it for a very long time and give it to me.

Amy-You make it sound very easy, but the government actually has many spies. And many spies have twice as many eyes. They are watching us and waiting for someone to slip up and break the natural orders of society.

I dare not risk it.

emfolle said...

I had one at uni when I had no car. (Hand me down from Nanna) Word of advice... do not overload... plastic wheels are not made for heavy weights. On the other hand... you could just buy one without plastic wheels.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Wow Em, I have a deeper and more profound respect for you now. If you can do it, why can't I, O Captain My Captain?

Stuart Heath said...

Suzanne and I (as non-car-owners) have been using them since our early 20s. Everyone in France uses them, so I just figured it was chic.

ALaird said...

Ben you've got to come and visit our area - they're very popular on Norton Street. You can buy some quality ones...for like $200! And it's not just the old people using them...Carly has been looking into one...

Ben McLaughlin said...

Stuart- Wow, early 20's? You guys rock.

Lairdy-Well, it is your husbandly duty to encourage her to follow this dream. I will check up to make sure you do.