I have annoying issues that leave me frustrated. Stupid issues that sort of thwart my enjoyment of things.
All the time I was working and passing through town I would be dreaming of the day that I could just go in to town and trawl endlessly through this giant old comic shop, and look in music shops and stuff like that. Anyway, that day came today: this morning was my time-out window of going and doing that by myself.
But, I build these things up too much, and inevitably come home feeling kind of empty and disappointed. I stupidly expect these dumb hobbies to make me feel happy or fulfilled, but in the end, they obviously don't.
I know, I know, this is all very obvious. Of course if you look for fulfillment in things and stuff of this world rather than in God, you will not find meaning. That's the point. I guess I am a slow learner on this point. But I did try and prepare, spending the whole trip in to town praying about other stuff and making sure my heart was right.
I dunno. It's all very frustrating to me. I find it hard to not obsess about my hobbies, and just be able to enjoy them from a 'safe distance', without putting too much weight on how they make me feel. Stupid, I know.
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
4 comments:
Hey Ben, I wonder if it would help to tweak the way you think about it.
It seems to me that
"if you look for fulfillment in things and stuff of this world rather than in God, you will not find meaning"
sets you up for a fall. But God's creation isn't opposed to God, in the sense of being a competition with him. (I know, I know, there's a bit of confusion over what 'world' means, but we can take that up later if you like). Comic books, music, holidays really are good. They can be fulfilling - in a limited way.
The trick is to love these things appropriately, and not to swap them for things that demand much bigger love... or, as you say, not to build them up too much. But in order to do that, you still have to think about them in positive ways, not trade them off against God. When you admire Conan, you admire the God who made Conan possible.
Just a thought.
Hey Drew. Congratulations, mate- the little fella looks very cute!
Thanks for your thoughts. Yes I agree with what you say, this is the best way to think of it- that God and things aren't in opposition, but I just need to see God as the giver of those things, rather than set them up to compete. Nothing can fullfill but God.
Even though I know all this, it's kind of a frustrating thing where, I just always switch to this dumb state when I get in the situation, where logic goes out the window, and I suddenly expect fullfillment from this stuff. Dumb.
You're not stupid. You're human :)
Beat me to it Drew:) Ditto
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