What is your opinion of those World Vision gift certificate things that people sometimes give as presents at Christmas? I have had mixed feelings about these in the past, and with Christmas approaching rapidly I thought I ought to work out where I stand, once and for all.
So, for those who don't know, sometimes people will give you a Christmas card, but when you open it, it turns out to be this World Vision thing, where the other person has bought this certificate that says something like 'you have bought an African village a goat' or something like that. It is a pretty cool idea, and E has initiated us doing this a few times in the past as well.
It is probably shameful to admit, but when I have gotten one of these, my immediate emotion, if I'm honest, is disappointment. My selfish line of thought goes, well that is awesome that you have bought the village a goat, but I don't understand how I fit in to this equation. You have bought it, they have got it. So why include me, and why does this mean I miss out on a personal card or present from you as a result?I know this is petty and self-centred, that's why I'm saying it- to try and get to the bottom of it. I guess the thinking is that it makes the giftee feel good to think that rather than getting a pair of socks, the money has gone to something more worthwhile. I do get that to an extent, but another part of me feels like I miss out on the gifters genuine thought and effort for me. Is this ridiculous?
For the record, it's not the present itself. I really don't particularly want or need more stuff. I think it's more that I feel nothing personally directed at me. Maybe it would be different if there was a personal card that went with it, rather than just my name written on a dotted line. I don't know.
Honestly, what are your thoughts on this? Is this ridiculous and selfish? Am I alone on this one? It's more blessed to give than to receive, so should I just be thankful for the opportunity to take part in that exchange?
22 comments:
I know how you feel. I have bought these things and ended up still buying presents for people because I feel like it doesn't show I care for the person. It feels like a cop out. Good that I donate a goat, but that shows I care for the people getting the goat, not the person who missed out on a personalised pressy. So I give the goat card to myself instead.
goldy, I was relieved to get a comment on this post, because I'm feeling like a lowly scrooge for posting it now. I'm glad you kind of see where I'm coming from.
I think they are a good idea, but maybe should contribute to the gift rather than replacing it, or be offset with a more personal card.
I'm with you Ben. But I think there's an easy compromise.
All I ask is that I get to name the goat. I will call the goat Rastus. Or Ultimo.
Then I will feel like I was given an opportunity to be a part of the present.
and they say you're just a pretty face.
I hear you Ben. My issue with it is that you're not spending your money on the gift - you're spending someone else's money, really. Instead of saying, "I don't need X this year, better off the money going to World Vision," you're making that decision for someone else.
On the other side though, sometimes it can work.
We often do this for our father in law, because (as he has told us on many, many occasions), he doesn't want or need anything, he hates gift cards and wants it to be thoughtful. I don't want to get him nothing, so this is something little that shows we have thought about him.
At least then the money we spend is going to good use, and not on some dodgy plastic gimmick that is a waste of time, money and resources.
Not sure how I feel about getting one for myself, but suspect I'd rather have that than something someone has bought in a panic without thought at all.
The first time we received one of these cards, I was like you - a bit nonplussed by it. But then I figured that I'd have no qualms about throwing out the card at the end of the Christmas season whereas I have more angst over throwing out a hand-made card, no matter how dodgily crafted.
Last year we gave a combination of the WV and CMS ones to our relatives and friends. One of my sisters didn't know what to make of it since she didn't even get a tax deduction for it.
This year I may consider doing what Mum does - make a donation to a charity and get a tax receipt in your loved-one's name for it. That way everyone (bar the fed gov't) is a winner.
The reason why you don't get a tax receipt for deduction purposes when you go the card route is because you're getting "something" (in this case a card) for the donation. The same goes for all the assorted pens, pins, scarves, flowers...used as fund-raisers.
Sounds like you really love presents, Ben. So people should get you presents. At least one or two.
I, however, hate presents. I am very picky, I hate junk, and I promise I will hate almost anything you buy me. And I will feel bad that you wasted your money. And probably angry with you, too.
So please buy me a charity card.
Meanwhile, I also hate Christmas. There is not greater sacrifice-festival to the insatiable god Greed who rules our society. So if I'm going to buy you a present, you can be sure it won't be at Christmas, when Greed's high priests are urging us all to toss more of our cash into his slavering maw. It's the time of year I'm most likely to buy charity cards, because it's at least a small reminder to Greed's minions that you don't have to serve him.
P.S. We usually make some baked goods or chutney or something to give people with their charity cards :)
Stuart - hear, hear. And then there's the other god of Easter & Christmas - gluttony.
As for not wanting people to waste money on junk that upsets you, there's something to be said for moving around a fair bit - it enables one to "lose" certain items easily. While it doesn't stop the rot at the core it at least helps to not stink out your own nest for too long.
I don't mind presents at any time of year but I prefer for them to be something on my wishlist or something I'll use up, like new sax reeds.
Yes, I quite like the consumable present. Shout me a trip to Shanghai Night!
And yeah, gotta love the move. We've tended to move at least every couple of years. (10 addresses in the last five years, actually — I had to do a form recently.)
International moves are the best. A couple of years back when we first moved to Europe, we whittled our worldly possessions down to nine boxes of books and cookware, a fridge and a freezer. We're coming back in December, so there'll doubtless be another major cull. But we'll get the whitegoods back :)
Soph, you hit the nail on the head. That sums up perfectly my issue with it. I wasn't able to pin point it properly, but yep, that's what it is.
Amy, your F.I.L. is kind of a different case. That's fine if the person is specifically anti-present. It's a good option. But don't assume it for the rest of us.
Bah Humbug, Stuart and Laetitia! You guys sound way too practical. Stuart, how can you hate presents? Somebody is thinking of you and wants to give you something to express that. It's nice! You'll get your presents and you'll like it!
For the record, I don't love presents, but I love the feeling I get when someone writes me a nice card, or gives me something that shows thought and effort. And likewise, I get a kick out of doing the same back.
but i feel like soph and ben, you're forgetting that a gift is not a right, but a gift. someone else's choice of what to give you. I personally choose the item i'm giving the person from the list of WV or CMS so I have always felt its personal. I'm amazed at this whole blog/comments and will be sad at Christmas to not enjoy giving out these cards to pple i thought understood sacrifice and giving.
Jen, I'm really sorry that I've offended you. I do understand that a present is not a right, and my point is not that it's a greed for a 'better' present that has made me feel weird, but more a want of a more personal thing. It's that I don't get the personal aspect of it, I don't understand really how the equation works.
I am willing to admit this might very well be my problem, and I would like to have someone explain it to me better.
Don't get discouraged and think it's not a good present, Jen, and that I have tainted it for you, because I am just one person, and am just trying to work it through.
And again, I'm really sorry that I made you sad by posting about this.
Jen, maybe I can share what happened to my husband and I, to help explain my point of view better.
Sam and I live on a very tight budget. We have been constantly challenged throughout our christian walk to be generous with what we have, and after much mistakes in getting our hearts right and dealing with our own selfishness, we have finally working towards being generous with what we have - to churches, charities and for friends in need. This means we go without a lot of things. We don't go to the movies, or out for dinner. We don't buy presents for each other on anniversaries, christmas or birthdays.
I'm not saying this to show off how generous or godly we are (believe me, we are far from model examples) but to help you understand our attitude towards christmas.
Christmas is the one time we feel we can "let our hair down" and buy presents for loved ones, as well as enjoy their kindness to us. For someone to give us a movie voucher may not seem like a big deal, until you realise that the voucher they give is probably the only movie we will see that year. I hear your point totally that I'm not entitled to it as a right, but it is a generous and beautiful gift that does mean a lot to me.
On to the issue of donation cards. One year, it was suggested by one of our families that instead of presents, we buy each other a donation for overseas. We loved the intention, but I will admit I were disappointed.
Partly it was because Sam and I already give regularly to overseas charities, and had earmarked our christmas money to spend on family. We felt we were being deprived that joy.
And partly it was because I felt (and this is my emotional reaction - not saying it's a right one, just being honest) that someone else who didn't know our situation had decided for us that we weren't generous enough, that we could do without that small pleasure, that we were put in the category of "people who had too much stuff and could do with giving some of it to charity". That may sound selfish and horrible, but it's how I felt.
I know it definitely wasn't the intention of the person who thought of the idea. We sorted it out and in the end, everything worked out fine. But I thought that background might help you understand where I'm coming from.
For myself, if I want to give to a charity I will go without something to make that happen, rather than deprive a loved one of a present that might just be more "stuff" to me, but may mean the world to them.
P.S. Ben sorry for the long comment.
A whole can o' worms opened here!
I understand entirely the idea that you are in a way putting your values for something over what someone else might want (but I don't see that is any different than what you choose to buy as a present). I've certainly not given these cards ever as a comment about whether I think the people have too much stuff, or don't give enough to charity (generally, I will give them to people we would normally only give a card to).
Presents mean a lot if they are special and given with love, and I've been spoilt by having grown up in a family who puts a lot of time and effort into picking presents that really mean something. But I've also had a lot of presents lately that have been so obviously a panicked, 'just have to get something', found it on a shelf somewhere and thought it would do item, and I would much rather be given a charity card which at least isn't a waste of their money and my space.
I guess my point is - if a present is given in a spirit of love (whether an item or a charity card) then it is fine, but any sort of afterthought just misses the whole point and is actually insulting.
I'd agree with that, Amy :)
Thanks Soph and Ben for explaining more of what you mean, I do understand where you're coming from and can see it can be disappointing...gotta think more on this one, it cetainly confuses me about this Christmas and how much thought people are giving presents I give. Ahhhh! Alittle paranoid now! :)
Fascinating discussion I just found while trawling the web for something else. I see all your points - (Except the thing about tax deduction which confused me slightly)
My brother really doesn’t like these gifts – his honesty on the subject amuses me – it doesn’t seem very PC but that’s quite refreshing.
My tiny contribution is I guess this is only a problem because we generally have so much stuff around us in the west/global north (although things are changing due to the economy I think). People in poorer countries won’t be having this dilemma. They’d be grateful for any gifts they get – kind of like our parents who only got an orange and some nuts at Christmas. Things for us are different. Everyone here seems to be trying to live a conscientious lifestyle – thinking about what they do and why which is great and exactly what we should be doing.
I guess our challenge is to keep on trying to understand people, poverty, development, dignity and love in every world context and settle for nothing but the truth and what our conscience allows.
I agree with Stuart. Not completely, as I do like Christmas. But really, kids are the ones who get the most out of presents. At this point in my life, I can honestly say that if I want it and one of my relatives could afford it, then I already have it. Seriously, I don't want some deal they found at Wal-Mart on a wallet or something. And half the time it was final clearance and I can't take it back.
It does kinda' tick me off that they would waste their money like that. Seriously, do they know me at all?
Would I think differently if they had MORE money than me? If they could buy me that new Lexus? I don't know. I won't pretend to be selfless. But that's not the case. I get about $200 (between parents/in-laws) of bargain store bargains. And there is a much better way to spend $200. Because honestly, I end up donating most of it to Goodwill in January anyway.
I've read most of the comments on this post, and I do see where everyone is coming from. A few things I see here that are important to remember-
1) Are the gift-giver and gift-receiver on the same page? It is well and good to ASK for a WV goat for Christmas, but don't assume that everyone on your list wants one too.
2) Even within the group of people who would enjoy a "donation gift", remember that charities are often personal. I may like a WV goat, but my sister would definitely prefer a donation to breast cancer research. This of course causes more work for the gift-giver, but such is the nature of thoughtful gift-giving.
3) Keep in mind the age and socio-economic situation of the gift-recipient. In my late teens through my early 30's, I really would not have liked a "donation gift". Of course I didn't want "it's the last minute and I had to buy something so here is a clearance wallet" either, but you get my drift. I really wanted either cash, or a thoughtful item that I couldn't afford to buy for myself.
Now that I'm in a better place financially, I would love a WV goat for Christmas. My husband and I are better off than much of our family, so there isn't much they could buy us that we don't already own. And if they could afford it and we haven't purchased it for ourselves, we probably don't really want it. I actually feel a little guilty at Christmas when relatives spend money on us. Last year, my mother asked me what I wanted for about $40- that was her spending limit for each of her children/children-in-law. I felt awful. She really doesn't have it to spend, but her heart is in the right place and she WILL spend it.. so I asked her to discretely add it on to the gift for my brother. He needs it more than I do.
If I didn't have a brother, I may have asked for a WV goat. Because she was going to spend $80 (me plus my husband) one way or the other, and we don't need it.
Post a Comment