Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Disappointment

Yesterday, after much thought, I had to turn down a big freelance job that was on offer. It was something that I really wanted to do (a book illustration job), but when we thought practically about the amount of work required and the deadline, I realised it would not be wise, regardless of how much I wanted to do it, and how much the extra money would come in handy.

Logistically, I would be working through the holiday that's felt like the light at the end of the tunnel, and I would only be adding to the strain at home. Working through the nights, working through weekends. Even less time with the girls. Nuh, just not doable right now.

I think it's one of those times when I need wisdom and faith-- wisdom to say no to something even though I really want it, and faith to hand over my desire to God and trust that He will bring other opportunities my way.

9 comments:

peter y said...

brother, all i can say it's that's VERY encouraging - to see you bypass what sounds like a creatively exciting and enjoyable work experience and a pile of extra cash, for the sake of loving your wife and children - that's VERY encouraging.

Thanks for spurring me on.

Joanna said...

Likewise, Ben - I find this a real challenge and an encouragement. I love my work and I find it incredibly hard to say no to the exciting opportunities that come my way for the sake of my priorities of husband, church community and other people. This obviously really hurts, but I'm praying that God would give you a strong sense that this is the right thing to do and that he bless you through it.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Thanks a lot, guys.

Helen said...

Brave man. Well done.

Tracy said...

These kind of tough decisions are the stuff that really can make you grow. Good for you choosing to guard your time and making your family your priority.

Stuart Heath said...

Good choice, Ben.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Thanks, I appreciate you all saying that. It makes me feel good about the decision.

Anonymous said...

Ok...I have been doing slot of reading through your Blog......and I am impressed. BUT BUT BUT....... I don't know if I should say I am amzed, stunned, confused..etc etc...
I didn't come from a christian home....but as we both know...I went to the christian school, attended the churches and so on.
I can safely say I believe there is " something or someone" that created this earth.....
But I don't have this strange belief that every decision I make or don't make is guided by GOD. And if I miss an opportunity, GOD will throw me another one later on.
I would like to finish with.....how disappointed christians are going to be if they center their WHOLE LIVES around this GOD, beliefs, etc.. they have learnt about since they were born!! Have u ever thought...what if I am teaching my kids, simply, a time wasting belief system????

Ben McLaughlin said...

Hi Nat,

I just noticed that I missed this comment. Thanks for your thoughts, I'll try my best to give reasons for why I believe what I do etc.

With what you said about believing that there is someone or something that created the earth, I reckon it's pretty important to work out what to then do with that. So, I believe that God didn't create the world and then remain distant and hidden, He very much made himself known, all throughout history. He then actually came into history himself, becoming a man to bring mankind back to him, out of sheer love and faithfulness.

So that to me is a VERY personal, relational God, not some hidden deity behind a curtain. To not respond to that, would be like a child who is loved, protected, provided for his parents, to say 'I know there's someone taking care of me, but I don't really want to know them, or be in relationship with them'.

If it comes down to a proof thing, like 'I'll believe in Him if he reveals himself to me personally, here and now', well, it's not really going to happen that way. Believing after been given a stack of scientific proof is not faith, and it's faith that God wants. So, another illustration- Let's say I'm trying to work out whether my wife is faithful, and therefor whether I can trust her with my life. I can hire a personal investigator to tail her, and I can read her mail, and check her text messages, and after that safely say, okay I trust her. But that's not real trust at all, or real faith. If I trust her because she tells me she loves me and is faithful, and shows me this love and faithfulness, well, that's more than enough to believe.

You're right Christians would be very dissappointed if they got to the end to find that they were believing in a myth. For arguements sake though, how would that dissappointment compare to someone who ignored God throughout their life, only to get to the end and discover He's been right there waiting for them to come, waiting to shower them with absolute love and faithfulness?