I really liked this post Simone wrote the other day.
It made me think about what I would like other people to understand better about me.
Here's my 10:
1. I'm not shy. I just have a stutter, and try to avoid talking around groups of people. Sometimes I'll use pretend shyness as an excuse for mono-syllabic answers, but it's a facade.
2. I poke fun at you because I like you, not because I don't. Generally people get this, but there are friends who get offended by my jokes, and take things to heart. So I secretly roll my eyes and have to chuck in a boring "just kidding", to appease them. I mock because I love. If I didn't like you I wouldn't joke with you.
3. I like to be alone. There's nothing wrong, I'm not in a bad mood, I just like to be by myself a lot, to think and do my own thing.
4. I want to talk about passion. I like people who have interests, and I like to listen to you talk about the things you're passionate about, especially if they are a bit left of centre. And I really, really want to talk to you about the things I'm passionate about.
5. I don't want to talk about achievement. When groups of males talk together, there tends to be a sense of competition. This makes my eyes glaze over. I'm really happy to talk about you, but not about your status symbols, how highly paid and highly skilled you are, how expensive or fast your car is.
6. I like having friends of both sexes. Don't be alarmed if I talk to you and you are a girl. "Eek, why is he talking to me, and not my husband?" I'm not being creepy, I'm just being friendly. I relate to girls about as well as guys (ie, equally badly).
7. I want deep relationship, at intervals. This is a bit tricky and hard to navigate. But while I want a deep friendship with you, and want to skip the small-talk, I need it to be a bit spaced-out. I don't want to have a heart to heart every single day. Neediness frightens me.
8. I need warning. Don't drop in on me, or ask me to something without warning. Don't change plans on me at the last minute. I need to mentally prepare and have time to get excited about things.
9. I'm a one-to-one kinda guy. In a group I'll be a bit stand off-ish and reserved. I feel out of my element. But one to one, I will be relaxed and open with you.
10. I'm opinionated about my tastes. Be aware that if you tell me about something you like, chances are I will either think the thing is awesome, or rubbish. I have no grey areas here. Don't get offended, just tell me to pull my head in, and tell me why I'm wrong (although you won't be able to, because I'm right).
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
6 comments:
Fascinating.
Love #2, #4 ,#6, and #10. Go the odd numbers (except 8)! Especially 4.
Good list.
Especially number 2.
With your #2 - be careful in talking to internationals, especially Americans. They'll 'most never get this kind of humour.
#10 - You're opiniated, Ben? I would never have guessed from reading your blog! (this is also a reference to #2 - I poke fun at you because I like you)
It's funny Simone and Amy, the one's you relate to.
Wendy, yeah I have definitely noticed this with some people. Have learnt to tread a little more carefully.
Lu, that's the spirit!
Hear, hear to no. 5.
In engineering there's a push to encourage women to go for the higher level managerial roles, to achieve on the corporate ladder; how it's dreadful that women are leaving the profession early and not returning, what can be done to get them back in, blah, blah, blah.
Cue eye roll and glaze.
(Granted, the country needs engineers but that doesn't mean that everyone with an engineering degree should be working as one.)
I have no interest in climbing the corporate tree. I couldn't be bothered and I'd rather have a life outside my job. I want to know that if I ever retire I have other interests to keep me from going nuts or returning to work as a "consultant" (old engineers never leave...)
There was one time in Main Roads when my boss said that he'd be moving me to a different area. Then he said (half tongue in cheek), "You'll never make DG without learning these things." I remember thinking, "To get to DG I'd have to go through your job and you come in here on Sundays - no thanks!"
For the public service uninitiated, DG is Director General - head of the department, answers to the Minister.
Post a Comment