Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Slipstreaming

I seem to spend a lot of time navigating my way through crowds, walking to or from train stations. This can become a frustratingly tedious pass time, but I have learnt a technique to optimise efficiency in these situations. Slipstreaming.

Invisible channels run through crowds of people, channels that you can learn to detect. It's about seeing the fast-moving objects and taking refuge in their wake, and seeing slow-moving objects and keeping clear of them. A balance of these two disciplines will aid you on your journey.

Here are a few tips for the Slipstreaming beginner.

Anti-Slipstreams (slow-moving objects):

These are the ones you need to look out for and avoid.

*Groups of tourists. Tend to walk in a row. Will stop without notice to photograph some building or to look at an upside-down map.

*Groups of teenagers. It's like getting stuck behind a gaggle of lethargic ducks. Boys will be rumbling and hitting each other. Girls will be emotionally scarring each other with words. Both will be looking at their mobile phones, and not the path. The sheer size of these groups will make over-taking very difficult.

*Mothers Groups. A slow pace is set to negotiate a pram with one hand while holding a take away coffee in the other. Walking toddlers will bring down the pace further still. More walking in rows. Superprams difficult to overtake.

Slip-Streams (fast-moving objects):

Okay, these are the good ones. Get in behind these, and it will be plain sailing.

* Business men late for a meeting. They will be striding quickly with an anxious expression. Just be on guard for swinging briefcases.

* Solo mothers with prams and bike pants. When they are by themselves, they can move quickly, and the bike pants tell you they mean business. The pace will be brisk, and the pram will clear a sizable stream, fit for you and even a companion if you wish.

* Crazy people. This is a higher-risk stream, not really for the beginner, but one that you can get a good return on. You'll need to keep your wits about you as strange outbursts and sudden changes in direction are likely. But the person's general demeanor will have cleared you a very wide wake to work in. Enjoy with caution.

Well, practice these for starters, and then in time we can work through the intermediate level of Slipstreaming.

9 comments:

Nathan said...

Slipstreaming behind a smoker is the worst. There is a Facebook group that I almost joined called "I want to punch slow walking people in the head"...

Laetitia :-) said...

One to add to the slipstreamers - woman with short hair (or skin-head male) wearing safety boots; especially if also wearing coat.

I was always amazed at how people would move aside for me when I'd stride down the mall when I was wearing safety boots. I don't get as wide a berth from my safety shoes - perhaps because they look like ordinary shoes so they don't arouse suspicion as to the weight of the toe.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Those are some good catagories you guys, thanks. Laetitia, you sounded like a visually imposing character in your work boot heyday.

ps- Nathan, you seem to 'almost' join a LOT of FB groups.

AY said...

Another anti-slipstream group to avoid; people talking or texting on mobile phones as they walk.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Yeah tell me about it. They stagger all over the place like drunk people. It's very hard to plot your course around these people.

Beth said...

These could also be applied to drivers....

Colinmac said...

Hey - What's the rush ??

Ben McLaughlin said...

Beth- yeah, you're right.

Dad- On a weeknight, there is a potential 1 hour and three quarters that I can spend with the kids, if I make the connections. If I don't quite make the connections it can be quickly cut to 1 hr and a quarter. So that's the rush.

Tracy said...

I think I know why you run into such interesting people and conversations... that crazy person slipstreaming...