Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Monday, May 31, 2010

A Changed Man

Well, it's nice to be writing here again. I feel nice and re-energised and enthusiastic. I hope you are all going well.

It's been a funny old week or two for me. Lots of various worries and exhausting things going on, but hopefully a small corner has been turned with the start of this new week.

This past week could pretty much be summed up with one word. Vomit. The kids got sick last Tuesday, and it's pretty much continued on since then. Just as it looked like ending, I got it on the weekend.

Avert your eyes if you're eating, but let me talk nuts and bolts with you. There is a big, big, big difference between kids vomiting and adults vomiting- a difference that maybe wouldn't occur to you until you're in the middle of it (literally speaking), but a difference that magnifies the issue to colossal proportions. This difference is placement.

Adults know where to go. They sense imminent trouble, and act accordingly. A bag. A bucket. A toilet. The threat looms, and they take control. Mostly.

But kids have none of this self-awareness. One minute they are happy as Larry, having a play, doing a drawing, having a snooze, sitting on Dad's lap. The next second, whoah, hey, what's this? A deep well-spring unleashed.

So, to save you the gory details, let's just say the past week has involved the considerable tarnishing of the following:

-several sets of sheets
-1 doona, child sized
-1 doona, queen sized
-1 valance
-1 curtain
-1 pillow
-2 mattresses
-1 rug
-1 dolly
-3 cushions
-1 high chair
-large surface area of floor
-many towels
-many hand towels
-1 set of drawers
-2 parents

And now? Well, I feel different, friends. Older. Sullied. Changed, somehow. I have come face to face with unspeakable things. This world may never look quite the same again.

6 comments:

RodeoClown said...

Not fun is it :S

A month or so ago we had our daughter wake up at about 1am, hurl all over her bed, get cleaned up, bedclothes changed, and washing machine put on.

Then repeat 15 minutes later.

For 4 nights in a row.

I spent half a week doing washing, hanging out sheets, quilts, blankets and clothes at 2 am in the morning :S

I can empathise with you.
You just want to say "if your tummy feels funny, get off the carpet and at least stand on the tiles!"

Ben McLaughlin said...

I know!

That scenario is very familiar. Except with all the rain, we haven't been able to hang anything out, so the dryer has been earning its keep around the clock.

Amy said...

For a second there I was embracing the smug of my childless state. Then I remembered that I have two dogs who on the spew-front lack in frequency but certainly make up for it in volume.

I have a pre-agreement with my husband. I will deal with poo, and he can deal with vomit. I figure since he deals with bits of dead people for a living then he can cope.

lu said...

ughhh! i hate those middle of the night episodes! although they aren't much better in the daytime either.

hope you all stay healthy for a while!

Wendy said...

It is lots of fun when they start to anticipate, but not quite early enough. Last year our 7 y.o. was conscientious in trying to get to the toilet in time. On one occasion that resulted in him throwing up on the run and then sliding over in the vomit as he went round the corner. That one involved Lego too!
It would have been funny, except that I was a single parent that week and the clean-up job was all mine.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Amy- That would be a line I couldn't cross. At least babies eat normal food. Dogs eat all sorts of nasty things that are fowel enough going down, let alone coming back up.

Lu- Thanks Lu, me too!

Wendy- That story made me laugh! Sounds suitably disgusting. It really is a two-person job. One to clean the mess, one to look after the kiddo.