Dear Fellow Train Passenger

I know that you're tired. I'm tired too. I get that. But please don't fall asleep on me.

If you really can't keep your eyes open, lean back and sturdy yourself, rather than just sitting upright, going limp and flopping all over me, with your smelly old jacket that has apparently been sitting at the bottom of your dirty laundry basket for a decade.

It's not that I don't like intimacy, but if you'd like to be my friend, there are appropriate avenues for you to follow. I'm not ready to take it to the next level. If I want to snuggle, I'll ask my wife.

First warning, last warning.

Enjoy the rest of your day.