Nath at St. Eutychus wrote a really interesting post about how and when to tell people you have a blog--
At what point in the process of meeting new people do you drop the “I have a blog” or “I’m a blogger” bombshell? Obviously we all blog for attention. Right.
I’m a little self-conscious these days because sometimes people talk to me about my blog(s), in front of people I’ve just met, or people who don’t know I blog, and those people respond in one of a few ways, none good, some will say “why didn’t you tell me you had a blog” or “I can’t believe you have a blog. You nerdo loser”… or then I just feel the need to go into sales pitch mode about why people should read my blog, or some sort of justification about why I blog, or that falsely humble “oh that old thing…” Although, like in the parable of the sower (awesome analogy for blogging) there are some people who become regular readers, who even comment some times, and I like that..
Hmmmmm. This is something I often ponder. When I started a blog a few years back, I was surprised to find that the people who I most pictured reading it (close friends, siblings etc)were the ones who didn't. Whereas I found that I met all these new people through blogging, and they were the ones mostly who read it. (An indication of this is that out of the 14 people who did Mondays' quiz, I only know 3 of those in 'real life')
With this surprise, I had to readjust my thinking a bit. To be honest, I did have ongoing angst about those close mates, family etc who didn't read. I kind of felt like I was saying stuff I wasn't saying elsewhere, and I wanted them to see it. But what I had to learn is that not everyone is interested in turning on the computer to read some online diary thing by someone they know, regardless of how close they are. You're either a person who will naturally do that, or your not.
You can't force them, or resent them for not being that kind of person. I think it's fair enough for people to have the attitude of 'if you want me to know something, pick up the phone and tell me. Don't expect me to religiously follow you online'. I get that now, I think.
So, back in the super early days when I'd written about 3 posts, I sent out a big group email telling every man and his dog that I had a blog. I wince when I think of that now, and regret doing it. Hey everyone that I know- come and read three posts about nothing.
My stance these days, is that you should just primarily write a blog for your own satisfaction, and let nature take it's course. Eventually people will see it or hear of it, and then if they want they can have a read, without the pressure of PLEASE READ MY BLOG I NEED YOU TO LOVE ME. It may be different people to what you were expecting, but who cares? It's nice meeting new people anyway. That's one of the things I've liked the most about this blog- making new friendships.
It's a lot like when I played in bands, and you'd tell people you had a gig coming up. They're your mates, but there's only so many times they can be bothered coming along to some dive of a pub to watch your band play. Don't expect the wrong people to be interested.
Everybody would like to grow their readership. But I reckon you're better off looking for readers amongst people who actually read blogs, otherwise you're just in for disappointment. Read other blogs, comment on other blogs, and have a bit of an online presence, and then eventually people might click to see who you are. Then you don't have to do all that icky self promotion stuff.
What do you think about all this? Is it strange to tell people you have a blog? And is it stranger to tell new acquaintances, or old ones? Is self promotion a turn off?
At what point in the process of meeting new people do you drop the “I have a blog” or “I’m a blogger” bombshell? Obviously we all blog for attention. Right.
I’m a little self-conscious these days because sometimes people talk to me about my blog(s), in front of people I’ve just met, or people who don’t know I blog, and those people respond in one of a few ways, none good, some will say “why didn’t you tell me you had a blog” or “I can’t believe you have a blog. You nerdo loser”… or then I just feel the need to go into sales pitch mode about why people should read my blog, or some sort of justification about why I blog, or that falsely humble “oh that old thing…” Although, like in the parable of the sower (awesome analogy for blogging) there are some people who become regular readers, who even comment some times, and I like that..
Hmmmmm. This is something I often ponder. When I started a blog a few years back, I was surprised to find that the people who I most pictured reading it (close friends, siblings etc)were the ones who didn't. Whereas I found that I met all these new people through blogging, and they were the ones mostly who read it. (An indication of this is that out of the 14 people who did Mondays' quiz, I only know 3 of those in 'real life')
With this surprise, I had to readjust my thinking a bit. To be honest, I did have ongoing angst about those close mates, family etc who didn't read. I kind of felt like I was saying stuff I wasn't saying elsewhere, and I wanted them to see it. But what I had to learn is that not everyone is interested in turning on the computer to read some online diary thing by someone they know, regardless of how close they are. You're either a person who will naturally do that, or your not.
You can't force them, or resent them for not being that kind of person. I think it's fair enough for people to have the attitude of 'if you want me to know something, pick up the phone and tell me. Don't expect me to religiously follow you online'. I get that now, I think.
So, back in the super early days when I'd written about 3 posts, I sent out a big group email telling every man and his dog that I had a blog. I wince when I think of that now, and regret doing it. Hey everyone that I know- come and read three posts about nothing.
My stance these days, is that you should just primarily write a blog for your own satisfaction, and let nature take it's course. Eventually people will see it or hear of it, and then if they want they can have a read, without the pressure of PLEASE READ MY BLOG I NEED YOU TO LOVE ME. It may be different people to what you were expecting, but who cares? It's nice meeting new people anyway. That's one of the things I've liked the most about this blog- making new friendships.
It's a lot like when I played in bands, and you'd tell people you had a gig coming up. They're your mates, but there's only so many times they can be bothered coming along to some dive of a pub to watch your band play. Don't expect the wrong people to be interested.
Everybody would like to grow their readership. But I reckon you're better off looking for readers amongst people who actually read blogs, otherwise you're just in for disappointment. Read other blogs, comment on other blogs, and have a bit of an online presence, and then eventually people might click to see who you are. Then you don't have to do all that icky self promotion stuff.
What do you think about all this? Is it strange to tell people you have a blog? And is it stranger to tell new acquaintances, or old ones? Is self promotion a turn off?
9 comments:
I never bring it up, if it's brought up I explain, but blogging is so niche most people don't care. When jelssie started I know we told George, I think because she was there at the time we had the idea. I also told parents, colleagues, friends who blog too, but once the novelty wore off I agree with you: just blog and let readers come if they come. Actually I was shy about commenting on your blog the first time, cos then you might start reading mine. I still blog as if I'm writing for people I actually know, like when I started.
I agree with you here Ben. I don't publicise my main blog. I don't put it on my email signature and I don't volunteer the info - even if someone tells me that they blog.
But I do publicise my posts on my other blog on facebook. Not sure why.
I totally agree with you Ben. I got so excited after having Nathan when I started blogging again (and a bit smug, methinks!) that I told everyone and now that I've fallen off the wagon since December, I feel a bit sheepish when people say "you NEVER post!". Oops
I think you have the right attitude in that you blog for yourself, not for the approval of others. To be honest, one of the reasons why I stopped was because I couldn't shake the feeling that I was trying to construct an online identity rather than just be myself (the other reason was I didn't have the discipline to not check my blog or write posts when I was supposed to be doing other things). I also became so self conscious about how people would read what I wrote that it became a bit paralysing, as I couldn't write a post without having many second thoughts about it (will people think I'm being smug? Will they think I'm being too opinionated, etc)
But to answer your question, I never told people I had a blog, but always found it strange when friends would suddenly bring up something I wrote and ask about it, or want to talk about it. I've concluded its a positive thing, mainly because I can be quite shy in person and find it much easier to express myself in writing.
Hmm...writing this has made me realise I miss blogging! I hope I can resume it again!
So interesting! I'd never actually thought through when/what I tell people. If it comes up, I tell them, if it doesn't, I don't. Well, not always ;) I tend to put links to bigger articles I write on facebook and then my numbers spike for 2 hours and then go down again.
I did have the very odd experience of meeting a complete stranger at a dinner party and being greeted with "you're Kirribilli Kim!" -- which really rather freaked me out. Perhaps I post too many photos. Perhaps Christian circles are just too small here!
The other interesting, semi-related sidenote is facebook birthday wishes. I always miss a handful from people I think REALLY ought to have at least said happy birthday ... and get probably two handful from people I think "really? why in the world do you care?"
Thanks, you guys. You all brought up some interesting stuff there.
Jess, I totally relate to 'I was shy about commenting on your blog the first time, cos then you might start reading mine'. That feeling holds me back too.
I also think I'm private about it because there are people I frankly don't really want to read it. For some reason I'm really embarressed at the idea of certain people (especially colleagues)reading my posts. Not sure why..
Al, I didn't even realise you had that cooking blog til you just mentioned it. I'm glad you did because it's a goodun! maybe it's easier to publicise that one because it's not revealing your oppinions about things, it's more a record of what you're doing?
Soph, I hope you can resume too. I love your writing. i hear what your saying about the overthinking that goes on. Over thinking and second guessing yourself is the real enemy of happy blogging, i reckon. It all becomes too preasurised. Ha, I feel weird when someone brings up a post I've written in conversation. Especially if they say it was funny. I then don't know how to respond, and feel decidedly UNfunny in person, making me feel like a fraud! Written Ben is a lot wittier and quick-thinking than In The Flesh Ben.
Kim, yeah Christy circles are so small you always seem to be bumping into someone who somehow knows you. Disconcerting!
I think secretly I'd like someone in the street to say 'hey, you're that Vanishing Point guy!' It would make me feel a bit rock star for a minute.
Ben, my experience was very much like your's. I actually didn't even know much about blogs before my best friend told me that she had just started one. I envisioned staying in touch with my long-distance friends and family. But they didn't actually come by much. I met a great circle of online friends though.
When my blog comes up in conversation with people who are not into it, I get a bit embarrassed. Because I feel like the people who don't read or write blogs have a certain impression or opinion already formed about "bloggers" and I don't feel like I am that person they think that a blogger is, whatever that might be.
Hey, I am in "real life". I checked this morning.
My blog is itinerant - sorry Ben but half the time I have no bones to throw my blog-puppy.
However, around Christmas time we normally do a Christmas blog in which we write a condensed version of our year with links to our regular blogs for more in depth posts. (Was a bit busy this past Christmas but I'm adding in retrospective posts.) :-)
When people who only see us once a year ask us how we are / what we've been up to for the past year we often reply, "Well, if you'd read our blog (hint, hint) you'd already know."
This is generally met with one of two reactions: 1) Oh, I didn't know you had a blog (at which point I either direct them to it or tell them that the posts are automatically fed into my facebook notes and since they're also an fb friend they can read them there if they want) or 2) Oh I don't read / bother with blogs.
If I get 2) then I'll ask if they read our Christmas letter (assuming it's one of the people we've sent a copy). But the usual reaction from someone who can't be bothered reading a blog is that they can't be bothered reading an e-mail or a letter and that tells me that they aren't really all that interested in me; they're just asking to be polite.
And Kim, we often find ourselves wondering how person x knows person y (this is generally on facebook) and then we're like, "Ah, Brisbane Christian circles". Actually, half the time it's, "Brisbane - 2 degrees of separation."
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