Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Words That Are Too Gutless To Say What They Really Mean (Volume I)

Words can be a passive aggressive bunch. They seem to say one thing but mean another. There are many, but here are a few examples to start with-

1. Layman. When you call me a layman, or kindly put something in layman's terms for me, you are apparently being polite. But I know what's really going on. Layman. Lame-Man. Yeah, why don't you just say it. I'm not an expert like you, even though I'll have you know I did not only Maths in Society, but also at least a term of Science For Life. That stuff is hardcore, make no mistake. But I can see you looking down your 99th percentile nose. Lame Man indeed.

2. Raze. This word is just stupid, and whoever thought of it needs a good talking to. You don't raze something to the ground. That makes no sense. Unless it's suddenly opposite day. If you are going to tear something down, at least don't imply that you're somehow simultaneously putting something up. Duplicitous.

3. Plaque. I did something great and you are going to publicly honour me. But I detect the green eyed monster at hand. Why else would you decorate me with something that also means 'a sticky usually colorless film on teeth that is formed by and harbors bacteria'? Why not give me a bile. Or maybe a pus.

I could continue, but these words have made me so cross I need to go and have a lie down and a warm mug of Bonox.

4 comments:

Belle said...

Ha ha! But don't knock Maths in Society - that class rocked!

Ben McLaughlin said...

Hey, I'm not knocking it, I'm a Maths in Society boy thru and thru.

Belle said...

A Related English boy too, obviously...

Ben McLaughlin said...

Well, only for about half a year. I was one of three males in the class, and the teacher was this cold, condescending old lady who ended up cold-shouldering all but one of the boys out of her class. I then went to general english for the rest of the time. Hence by suspect grasp on langwhich skillz.