Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Apple Juice Twofer

I have a handy household tip for you, that will most likely revolutionise your whole entire life, in a quiet, understated way. It's about apple juice.

When I pour apple juice straight from the bottle, it's good, but perhaps a little too hardcore. It's a bit too strong, a bit too sweet and a bit too appley. It's almost too refreshing, to the point where you need a chaser of water. Often I will water it down in my glass, if I can be bothered. But that doesn't work if I am surreptitiously having a swig straight from the bottle while hiding behind the open fridge door, which frankly is most of the time.

I also find that you go through a bottle too quickly. Here you are pouring full strength glasses of juice willy nilly, and before you know it, bottle's empty. Especially if you have visitors over, who may take half glasses, or watered down glasses as an insult, and who may like their glass continuously refreshed.

So you see the gaping void of need that I have highlighted. Well, fret a little less my friends, because the other week I struck idea pay dirt. It just hit me. This is what you do:

1. Keep one empty apple juice bottle on the top of your fridge.

2. Buy a new bottle of apple juice.

(are you sitting down? Here's where it gets amazing)

3. Pour half the contents of the full bottle into the empty one.

4. Top up both bottles with water. Screw on lids.

5. Open wide your mouth in amazement as you suddenly realise WHERE ONCE YOU HAD ONE OVERLY STRONG BOTTLE OF JUICE YOU NOW HAVE TWO PERFECTLY STRENGTHED JUICES FOR THE SAME PRICE!!

Follow these simple steps, and never be sad again. Not only will you save money, you will enjoy it more. And your thirsty visitors will know no different, except to inquire at the end of their stay, "by the way, where did you buy that amazingly refreshing, perfectly strengthed juice?".

At which time you will turn to the camera, give a wry grin, and wink.

"I have my ways, ol' buddy, I have my ways".

ps- Dear Spellcheck, 'appley' and 'strengthed' totally are real words, you just need to stop being so judgemental, and get out more.

4 comments:

RodeoClown said...

That's an awesome idea...
Except for the bit about watering down your juice.

Laetitia :-) said...

We normally do Schorles. A Schorle is juice and soda water mixed together - very German, hence the use of the German term.

Belle said...

I think the problem is the flavour they add to most apple juices. Apple juice sans weird flavour is mild and delish! For an awesome but ridiculously expensive alternative to your watered-down-juice idea, there's a pink lady juice by a brand called Preshafruit (or something) in the cold juice section of supermarkets. You have to try it once to test my theory (but DON'T LOOK AT THE PRICE).

simone r said...

yep.

And death to spell check. I'm completely over him.