It's been over a year since I did one of these posts. To be honest I've been feeling very low about my speech for the past few months, it seems to have just worsened and worsened. Severe stuttering whenever I open my mouth. It's very disheartening, and hard to work up any enthusiasm or drive to work on it, or make the effort to drive over to Toastmasters.
I think one reason why I like to just stay home and keep to myself is basically so I don't have to talk and embarrass myself. It seems like every day is another opportunity to go out there and feel crap about myself in front of someone. If it's a stranger, I feel like a goose, and if it's a friend, I feel like they are thinking 'oh man, didn't you have all that intensive therapy, like three years ago? What's going on? Why are you still doing that'. Not good thoughts, I know.
But I don't want to be so negative. I know that that sort of thinking is totally counter productive. And I know I have so many blessings from God, I shouldn't be so laid low by just one aspect in my life. It's tough to find that perspective though sometimes.