I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a friend about self-esteem. One thing that occurred to me, is that it seems like people are more willing to talk about low self-esteem than healthy self-esteem.As a listener, it can be quite jarring to hear someone say that they have high self-esteem. Maybe this is because of the society we live in, tall poppy syndrome and all that stuff. Maybe it is scary to tell someone that you have good self-esteem because it makes you appear proud, full of yourself, or even just deluded.
To give an example, and to be honest, I have sometimes found myself giving the impression of having low self-esteem, sensing this was a likable trait, rather than being more truthful, and saying that I actually have good self-esteem, and if anything, am more inclined to slide the other way.
My friend was saying that often people with lower self-esteem find their sense of self very much influenced by other peoples' opinions of them, or by what other people say to them, whereas people with high self-esteem are more inclined to not take on what people say, to not heed criticism, and for their self worth to be built more from the inside out.
I agree with this mostly, I think. What do you reckon? Have you ever had someone tell you they have high self-esteem? Would you think they were proud if they said so?
7 comments:
I think I've got reasonably high self-esteem. Though sometimes when I talk about my sin or my desire to lose a couple of kgs people imagine I've got a poor view of myself. Alas, I don't.
I think my sin is bad because it is bad (though, I mostly don't think it's bad enough to do a whole lot about...). And on the weight thing - it's not hopeless. I know I'm capable of dropping a few kgs if I want to.
Does that sound jarring or arrogant? Perhaps.
Benno, you know me rather well. I would say that i don't really suffer from low self esteem, would you. Its not something i think about at all and meybe that in itself is a good indication of the level one has?
I have also seen people (my wife for example) who has no REASON whatsoever to have low self esteem but no matter what people say, that will never change. She is quite happy to admit it and is almost bound by it... I think there is alot more to the origins of these issues than meets the eye and can be quite a hole to get out of..
To answer your question (thanks he says!) I have never had someone admit to being a person with high self esteem. i would think that if someone felt it necessary to impart this sentiment, then perhaps it is, in reality, quite the opposite and perhaps a tool used in an attempt to get out of the aforementioned hole....
just a thought..
Good question though...makes you think, huh?
Actually, I don't really find that jarring Simone-- it is sort of refreshingly straight forward.
Pete, no I wouldn't have put you into the low self-esteem box. I like that you are confident in yourself.
I know what you mean, that some people seemingly have no reason for low S.E., yet it's hard to convince them of that..
That last bit you wrote, I guess that could be true in some cases, but I don't reckon all the time. Like yesterday, in that conversation with my friend I said that I had pretty high self esteem, and I don't think I was saying it either to boast, or to get myself up out of a hole-- more just an observation of myself.
Point taken. I would never put you in the arrogant or proud basket at all so that's fair enough..
I was assuming you meant poeple who come out of nowhere and inform you they have high self esteem, rather than it being the result of a progressing converstaion..
You are awesome though.
ZIP ZAP RAP!!!
i know--i have a tshirt that says so..
I myself tend towards messianism.
yes, you are kinda god-like..
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