I've been thinking lately about the practical changes that will need to happen when the new baby arrives. Like I was completely unprepared for what one baby would entail, I am feeling almost as in the dark as to what two (or three, or four..) will entail. Looking back, that first year with little e was probably the hardest in my life. It's hard to put into words just how much your whole world changes. You can read about it and get a whole bunch of advice, but when it happens, you're just like 'wooooahh!! What the heck is happening here?!' It's wonderful, but really hard.
And so it is kind of alarming to hear people say 'oh, one child was a breeze. Just you wait for two and three.' Yikes. So I am trying to think through just what this will mean practically, to try and prepare, but I don't really know.
I wonder how we'll go with four of us in our two bedroom place? Is it unrealistic to think that the two kids will happily share a room for a couple of years? I think that's fine for when their a little older, but I wonder how a baby and a toddler will go together.. I picture them constantly waking each other up through the night, for example.
But I like the idea of them sharing a room. I liked sharing a bunk with my big brother when I was a kid. It felt like a privilege to me. Maybe not so much to him -- he probably wanted Independence-- but I liked it. I liked that we had matching pyjamas. I liked looking at all his cricket and football posters that covered the wall. I liked when the two of us would talk quietly in the dark when everyone else was asleep. When I did get my own room, I felt very lonely, and the room felt very quiet, dark and still.
Anyway, I guess like every other stage in life, you can only prepare so much, and for the most part you just have to trust God, and let the wave take you where it will. One thing I've learned from fatherhood to this point is that nothing stays the same, so don't get too comfortable. Everything could be completely different by tomorrow, so you need to be ready to roll with the punches.
4 comments:
Thanks for your honesty Ben, I have NO IDEA what even having one will be like but being the realist that I am I know it won't be easy but I also know it will be wonderful too.
We too are in a 2 bed unit so I wonder when we get around to baby no2 what it will be like, I guess we better just work on number 1 for now hey...
Sounds like it was great sharing a room with your brother - what great memories!
We lived in a tiny 2 bedroom place when our #2 was born (17 months after his brother). #2 was a floater. His bassinet would move from room to room during the day and the 2 kids would start off the night together, then we'd move baby into the lounge room when we went to bed. Good times! He slept very very well. Each day I expected everything to fall apart, but it never did. #2 is often easier than #1 because mum and dad are now used to being mum and dad.
Looking forward to eventually hearing about little Tarquin!
We have always had two kids in the same room...we've also had three kids in the same room, and four kids in the same room - and the eldest was four when the youngest boy was born. I don't know about other babies and toddlers, but mine had two or three nights of trying to out scream each other, and then stopped even stirring when one woke up crying! Even now when 'E' screams, 'C' and 'D' don't ever wake up or notice. I found two kids easier than my first one...but 'B' was a wonderful sleeper, which no doubt helped with that!
Nixter- I kinda think maybe God intended for us to be clueless going into parenting. If you knew all the ins and outs you'd just think about it all too much.. It is rather a really awesome time of realising God is in control, and taking care of the three of you as you do your best to take care of eachother. Really excited for you guys as the big day gets nearer:)
Simone- I wonder how #2 feels about being referred to as 'a floater'.. That's cool that you just worked around the situation. I guess you can't have everything perfect and ideal, and you just make do with what you have. Yeah, I think things will be pretty different this time round, just because we sort of know what we are in for!
Ruth- When I was worrying about several kids in one room I remembered visiting you guys, and reading your boys bedtime stories. I remember what a fun and happy atmosphere it was in their room. Crowded maybe, but in a wonderful way. I'm sure they will have great memories when they get older, of those years they spent as roomies:)
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