Call me rude, but when I clock off from work, I don't really want to talk to anyone. It frustrates me when I see someone from work leaving at the same time, obligating us to walk awkwardly down to the station together, making horrific small talk.
Even worse though, was the situation I had last night. My path crossed with the girl at the cafe who makes my coffee. Prior to this moment, we had had a friendly relationship, where she knows my usual and my name, but our interactions have been restricted to a short, manageable half-minute or so.
She's nice, and the only thing I can really fault her for is Benning me to death. It's nice that you remember my name, but don't turn it into a swear word through overuse. Good morning Ben! Just the usual Ben? Thanks Ben, have a good day Ben! See you tomorrow Ben! Benny Ben Ben Ben, Ben.
Anyways.
But yeah, yesterday, we were thrust into a ten minute walk together. Ten minutes is a heck of a long time in small-talk minutes. Excruciating. Nothing to say. The 'how was your day' and 'nice weather' hot-topics exhausted in the first twenty metres. And then we discovered we also would be catching the same train. My brain flashed in to motion, searching for a way out.
I scoured the shops we passed, desperate for an exit. Ladies' shoes. No, too riske. A cafe. No, it would be like a slap in the face to my coffee-maker of several years. Then a chemist. Not ideal, but I had to take it.
'Welp, I just gotta go in there, see you tomorrow', I said, making a dash. Taken aback, she farewelled me, Benning me thoroughly as I high-tailed it.
Inside the chemist I stopped, my breathing returning to normal as I hid behind the sun-glasses rack. I sighed deeply with relief. I had done it, I was a free man.
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
11 comments:
Heh. This made me laugh. I'm a big utiliser of the fake get away.
Worst thing is when they obviously want to stay with you - and so they say "Oh alright - I'll just wait here"!
oh yeah, that can be a bad development. It is very important to then keep your cool.
As I was alone, I could just buy a bag of jelly beans meant for diabetics and go, but had she followed me I would have perhaps opted for a safer bet, like childrens' panadol, or a hayfever tablet for my wife.
Yeah, but then what was intended to be a sneaky sidestep ends up costing more than I'm willing to pay, and I've still got the hanger-on-er. What to do?
Hmm. I'd opt for the public toilet option, and say something like 'whoo! Shouldn't have had that massaman for lunch..' to dissuade them from waiting.
Gee, I sure hope no one from your job reads your blog...
no one that I try and avoid, so I'm pretty safe
I totally identify with this...I have been known to do a lap or two of the office lobby if it looks like I might have to catch the lift up with my boss...
Fair enough. I do it too. But I don't think it's cos I'm anti-social, just picky social. Some people require effort, others don't. When I don't want to put in the effort, I look for the escape route.
And what if you were in coffee-girl's shoes?
I like that you do laps, Em. Good call.
that's exactly why it's a victimless crime, drew. She's been chit-chatting and small-talking to people all day. She doesn't want to be there with me either, but we are trapped in a silly ettiquette that is breaking both our spirits.
I'm just the one making the stand, for the good of the people. Really, it's an act of service.
Or you could just do what I do and if you don't feel like talking, just let them do it all... or just stand there awkwardly.
I'm with Geoff on this one - it's not about being anti-social, it's the effort involved with various people.
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