The sad day has come when Little e has discovered our first names, and much prefers the sound of these to boring old 'Mum' and 'Dad'.
She walks up to me regularly, and asks with a look of fascination, "Are you Ben?"
I try to ignore it and look all casual and non-plussed, the same way that I do when I walk past a terrifying dog - 'I'm not threatened at all, look I'm even whistling a merry tune as I walk past you'.
"Are you Ben?", she says again.
"I'm Daddy"
"NO! YOU'RE BEN!!"
Today- first name basis, tomorrow- "Buy me a pony or I'll scream".
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
14 comments:
I've dealt with this already.
There's two solutions I have used at various points:
1) "As far as you're concerned there is no [Ian] in this house. You can call me Dad, or get a smack".
2) If they really don't want to use "Dad", then give them a substitute you approve of. My boys now call me "Captain Awesome". Seriously. If they answer the phone they'll say "Mum, Captain Awesome wants to talk to you!".
It's even funnier when they introduce me to other people as Captain Awesome.
I'm sure it's going to come back and bite me once they're teenagers, but for now it's... well... awesome!
I was a bit confused when I first met the people who are now my parents-in-law because both my husband [Ian] and his sister [Ruth] call them by their first names. Why? Because that's what Doris & Munro told them to do when they got to about 12 years old. Doris and Munro figured that they have perfectly good names and "Mum" and "Dad" are titles, not names.
My Godmother hates the term "Mum" (sees it as disrespectful - must be something from her own childhood I think) and insisted that her children call her "Mummy", "Mother" or "Mama". My Godsister calls her "Mummy"; my Godbrother used to call her "Mother" but now tends to call her "Mama" (I think as much to teach the grandchildren / great-grandchildren).
As a teenager, when I would get exasperated with my mother (as teens do) I'd call her "Mother".
So it can cut all ways - it's all in the tone of voice.
BTW, how old is Little e?
nice one Rodeo. I don't like the first option at all.. seems unneccessarly harsh.
I like the special title though.
Laetitia, what annoys me is when parents pressure the kids to call them by their first names, like "hey, I'm your buddy, not your parent".
ps- little e is 2 and a half. She's starting early.
You could tell her 'Dad' is a special nickname that only she can call you? (Well, her and her siblings).
It's probably quite weird to discover that people can have more than one name
Charlie often asks "Is Nathan coming home soon?"
It's hard not to giggle.
Haven't you already had the pony/scream conversation?
Oh, I get the impression that there was no pressure - certainly not of the "I'm your buddy" variety. Of course, by the time I met them at the age of 22, they'd all already started moving into the "we are separate adults and should be treated with the same respect accorded to unrelated adults" stage of the relationships.
Considering that the job of parents is to train their child to be a responsible adult that can cope without them, they seem to be pretty healthy in that regard. On the other hand, my mother has had a bit more trouble letting go. She's improved, but at times still tries to get me to change my mind about decisions that are not her call (e.g. when to quit work to give myself enough time to cull/sort/pack for our move next month). This is despite the fact that I've been married for over 11 years and out of home for longer.
I like Amy's idea of the "special nickname".
I think my parents still like to pretend I don't know their real names.
On the phone with my Dad...
Me: "What are you doing today?"
Dad: "Well, I'm off to play golf and Elizabeth, oh I mean (fumble, fumble) Mum, is at work".
And the pony conversation is going to happen no matter what you do. It's just inevitable.
@Sarah: My wife and I call each other by our real names - we generally use "your mum/dad" when referring to each other to the kids.
They know well what our names are, they just aren't allowed to use them :)
I know I still call my parents mum and dad, unless I'm trying to get their attention when they aren't listening - then I use their real names.
Sarah - that's hilarious. My dad calls mum "Mum" out of habit but has no problem with calling and referring to her as "Bev". Mum will use "your father" and "Bill" interchangeably.
RodeoClown - I also use my parent's names to get their attention but otherwise use "Mum" and "Dad".
I like Amy's idea of Dad being a special name, because it is. Ebveryone else calls me Ben, but my kids are the only ones who can call me Dad
..and not sound weird.
my dad often accidentally calls his wife "mum"... so weird!
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