So E bought this box of Coles Frooty Rings a week or so ago. Think no-name Fruit Loops. Not something we'd usually buy (honest), but as an activity for Little e's party last week, the idea was to thread them on some string or something and make necklaces.
Now thankfully we ran out of time to run that activity, because E was contacted yesterday about a recall of Frooty Rings, due to 'traces of wire' in the product. Wire?! Come now, Coles, the kiddies need iron in their diet and all, but steady on.
Just a quick aside here- what sort of crazy Orwellian society are we living in where your Frooty Rings purchase can even be traced? Chilling.
Anyways, post-party but pre-recall, I saw the box of Frooty Rings sitting on the bench, just pretty much going to waste. How often does a grown up get to satisfy his cravings for Fruit Loops, be it cheap no-name version or not. Rarely. One must take these opportunities when they arise, obviously.
So I had a big bowl of them the other day. They were good. So sugary that my eyeballs were tingling and I started trembling a little. In a good way of course.
But now I'm worried. Have I ingested Traces of Wire? What is to become of me once said traces make their way into my bloodstream? What sort of lonely cyborg existence am I in for? Tell me that, Coles. Tell me that!