You know that bit in the Wizard of Oz where the crew are running through a field of poppies or whatever, and then they suddenly get all woozy and fall asleep?
Well, that weird Poppy Field Effect (P.F.E.) seems to occur also to any person who decides to sit next to me on the train. No matter the time of day, or where I sit, as soon as someone sits down beside me, they pretty soon head off in to a coma, swaying towards me, breathing hot, bad breath sweet nothings in to my ear, legs leaning warmly on to mine, head tilting perilously close to my shoulder.
Now I understand that my presence has a calming effect on people. That goes without saying. But come on, have a little self-control. Did you miss nap time today? Stay up too late playing Cluedo? All I ask is that you at least remain upright, tilt your head the other way, and preferably close your mouth. Even maybe brush your teeth if you think of it.
Come on, you can do it, I believe in you.