Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Friday, May 18, 2012

I'm Only Wrong When I'm Asleep

NOTE: E DON'T READ THIS POST

It's really frustrating when you totally think you are in the right, and then you realise you are actually half-asleep and talking nonsense. This happens to me a lot. And I'm very self-righteous when I'm asleep.

Last night Little i had a nightmare, and after trying to console her for a while in her room E brought her into our room.  I was half asleep at the time, and when E goes "I'm just bringing Little i in for a bit, okay?", I said "Okay, but just watch out for Buddy." She goes "What?"

How frustrating. Is it not obvious? Must I be woken and disturbed from my slumber to clarify something so blatant? There's a puppy lying right there between us, be careful about putting our toddler daughter on top of him. Sheesh. Can I go back to sleep now?

"Are you asleep?" She says, obviously trying to awaken the beast.

"No! Be careful. Of Buddy. He's Right There!" (Angrily sighs and rolls over in a huff).

"You're asleep".

Through the sleep seethes the wrath. You don't want to see me when I'm angry. I face E again, kindly willing to explain this ONE. LAST. TIME.

"BE. CAREFUL. OF. BUDDY."

"Buddy's out in the laundry. What are you talking about?"

And in an instant, the sleepiness vanishes, I realise I'm totally wrong, and have no leg to stand on. The bed is dogless. I roll over and go to sleep so I don't have to deal with being wrong. Maybe I can get away with that, and pretend to not remember in the morning. Yeah. Good plan.

6 comments:

pedro said...

Mate if i had a dollar for every time I said something completely stupid or irelevant while I was sleeping I'd be fully sick rich.

Though it does raise the question of the dog sleeping with you guys?!?!

Ben McLaughlin said...

He's never slept in our bed, he sleeps in the laundry. But often he'll have a kip on the bed just before we go to bed, and I put him out last thing.

Deb L said...

My husband does that! I thought it was only him!!! Once, early in our married life, he said something really mean when he was asleep and I didn't realize he wasn't really awake and I lay awake for ages silently crying over what he'd said. He had NO recollection of the conversation in the morning. Now I am used to slightly strange conversations that seem convincing real.

Belle said...

Hahaha, this seems like a guy thing! My husband not only responds with ridiculous things when I ask him something without realising he's asleep, he STARTS CONVERSATIONS when he's asleep, and gets cranky when I start giggling at him.

Andrew said...

Haha. I can so relate. When our almost 3 year old was a baby, I woke up in the middle of the night frantically looking for him in the bed. We have never co-slept with the baby in the bed, but for some reason in the dream/awake time I was convinced he was in the bed under the covers somewhere. I then woke up my wife, telling her that we had to find him. I was convinced of it, and it took a little time before I totally woke up (she woke me up) and I realised he was actually in the other room sound asleep in his cot.

PS. glad the dog never actually sleeps in the bed with you.

Ben McLaughlin said...

Deb- aww that's a sad story

Belle- Crazy how many guys seem to have this issue..

Andrew- I had the EXACT same thing, and it was recurring. Especially when my first daughter was a baby, I'd regularly half wake up, franticly searching under the covers, convinced she was under there, her face covered up. It was very traumatic.