On the train in, I was pondering the idea of printing up a series of Notices of Disapproval. Basically, I would have one for many different occasions, and rather than me silently seething, I could rifle through my notices, pick out the appropriate one, politely hand it to the offending party, and return to my seat. They are made aware of their misconduct, and I can let it go and get on with my day. Equilibrium restored.
Just so you know what I'm working with, this mornings' offending party was a lady, say 70ish? She had a Samsung with that bird whistle ring tone. I have nothing against the bird whistle ring tone per se. I have the bird whistle ring tone. But, lady, please head to settings and turn down the volume by 70%. And you know that little 'tic' noise you get when you type on the touch screen? I have mine on silent. Not so, offending lady. Hers was on a gazillion decibels, so every typed letter was like tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic through my only partially caffeinated head. For an hour. And what 70 year old has an hour long text message conversation anyway?
So. You may respect me less, and you may be barracking for 70 Year Old Lady on this one, but for my mind, she made herself a prime candidate for a Notice of Disapproval. It would read something like this (in nice calligraphic lettering):
You have been served with a
Notice Of Disapproval
To: You, 70ish year old lady
Reason: Typing volume infringement, bird whistle tone volume infringement, strangely long text message conversation infringement
Penalty: My disapproval