Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)
Huldra Forsvant (Theodor Kittelsen)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Notice Of Disapproval

Feeling a tad irritable this morning with all my fellow human beings in general. I tend to get that way in the painful interval between my first coffee (at home) and my second one (at work). The commute in really intensifies this tad of irritability, to some measurement far exceeding a meagre tad.

On the train in, I was pondering the idea of printing up a series of Notices of Disapproval. Basically, I would have one for many different occasions, and rather than me silently seething, I could rifle through my notices, pick out the appropriate one, politely hand it to the offending party, and return to my seat. They are made aware of their misconduct, and I can let it go and get on with my day. Equilibrium restored.

Just so you know what I'm working with, this mornings' offending party was a lady, say 70ish? She had a Samsung with that bird whistle ring tone. I have nothing against the bird whistle  ring tone per se. I have the bird whistle ring tone. But, lady, please head to settings and turn down the volume by 70%. And you know that little 'tic' noise you get when you type on the touch screen? I have mine on silent. Not so, offending lady. Hers was on a gazillion decibels, so every typed letter was like tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic through my only partially caffeinated head. For an hour.  And what 70 year old has an hour long text message conversation anyway?

So. You may respect me less, and you may be barracking for 70 Year Old Lady on this one, but for my mind, she made herself a prime candidate for a Notice of Disapproval.  It would read something like this (in nice calligraphic lettering):

You have been served with a
Notice Of Disapproval
To: You, 70ish year old lady
Reason: Typing volume infringement, bird whistle tone volume infringement, strangely long text message conversation infringement
Penalty: My disapproval


Anonymous said...

I *don't understand* the noise-for-each-key-pressed function! Is there a good reason for it? Who needs it? Why is it a thing?!

It doesn't matter if it's turned down - if there's any noise AT ALL when keys are typed, it. drives. me. NUTS. I'm totally with you.

(Although I AM cheering the old lady for being able to use a phone [if not the phone's settings]; I often get voice messages from my grandmother wondering aloud to my grandfather why I'm not talking to her anymore when I was there just a moment ago. She gets quite cranky with me and I have to calmly explain when I call back that it wasn't me who answered! It was a recorded message! I honestly wasn't ignoring her!)

Deb said...

If you design them well and mass produce them I think you could be on to a real money spinner there. So many possibilities. So many people-sharing-space violations.

Pedro said...

Thanks for changing the font b-ro. I was really struggling with the othery.
I can work harder at doing annoying things to you at work? Make your train ride seem like an excerpt from watership down.
Just saying...

Laetitia :-) said...

She's probably been driven deaf by a deaf husband who refused to use hearing aides on the principle that "everyone else should stop mumbling". If you go up to her and politely ask if she likes the tic, tic, tic noise, she'll probably look at you and say, "What tic, tic, tic, noise?" At that point you can say that her phone is making a tic noise every time she hits a key and that's annoying to others but you can help her by showing her how to turn it off. Get along well with her and you may even be able to suggest that wearing a 'cool' ear piece will allow her to hear her phone when it rings without it being loud enough to annoy the other passengers.

Or just move to the quiet carriages if your train has them.

Although that's no guarantee. :(

Ali said...

Hah! I love it! And it's not one little bit passive-aggressive to hand people notes. Nope. It's just how polite people do things.

I'll keep a list of my suggestions.