For some reason, I never seem to be able to get into what my 'peer group' at church seems to be into. Something inside me rebels, and I don't want any part of it.When I was about twenty, all that my friends ever wanted to do was rock-climbing. It's Saturday, let's go to some cliff in the bush and try and scale it. It's Friday night, let's go to the indoor climbing place and try to climb up a wall.
Oh gosh, can we?
I'd try really hard, really I would. I'd tag along, and give it a little go. I'd get about a metre off the ground, and in a whirl of vertigo squeak out something like 'I really need to get down now please'. And then I'd sit and watch in the hot sun, shooing away flies for the next three hours.
Next Saturday comes, sorry I'd dearly love to join you but I'm washing my hair.
And now, a decade on, it seems that bikes (of the pedalling variety) are the new equivalent among my Christian friends. Join a conversation, they're probably talking about bikes. Ask them what they are doing on the weekend? Most likely something involving bikes.
Now, don't be mad. I am not passing judgement on either of these pursuits. They are good pursuits. Climbing stuff is good. Riding bikes is good.
But I suppose at the heart of this post is a question- is there some psychological flaw in me that makes me want to run a mile from these things and not get involved? Is there a subconscious stubbornness that makes my eyes glaze over at the very mention of such things? Why is it, that when a group of my friends like something, my knee-jerk reaction is to run in the opposite direction?
Why is it that if they said 'hey, let's go rally driving' I'd want to go and write poetry and paint my nails, but conversely if they said 'hey, let's go listen to mellow acoustic music in a cafe', I'd want to go out pig shooting with a beer in my hand?
Why, how and when did I become so reactionary? Why do I almost want to be the odd man out?
Well, as you can see, a small joke post has turned into a long serious and soul-bearing one. But I would be interested to hear your thoughts. Even if you ride bikes.
26 comments:
I do know what you mean Ben, I'm a little the same. Everyone's excitement just automatically makes me ignore that thing with a bit of disgust for it.
But I don't know what we're to do about it to overcome this negativity! Sorry.
It's funny that you commented Jen, because I was just about to make a comment about Scott, as someone I admire.
There are not many people I've met who are so un-fussed about what others think of their interests, and who just go about their hobbies in a non-judgemental way as Scott does.
Fancy someone being simultaneously interested in bonsai, cage fighting, oragami and wrestling!
Everyone's excitement just automatically makes me ignore that thing with a bit of disgust for it.
And yes, that's just what I mean.
Lots of bike riding at my church too. There's a weekly pre-church bije rude, and we've got a pro-rider (international competitions etc) in there as well.
I don't join in because my pedal fell off several years ago and I haven't fixed it yet...
Also because I'm a bit more sedentary in my pastimes. However, there is a small nerd contingent and we hang out and play miniature wargames and are looking at doing some roleplaying next year.
Oh, and we eat corn chips and play video games.
Woo! Nerdy activities!
Well...sometimes it is just the activities themselves that fail to excite. Maybe if they had 'browsing 2nd hand comic bookstore day-out'? :)
But I do agree that group activities are not for all of us. I suspect it's in our DNA...
AY
Benno, maybe, just maybe you should jump off the snooty bandwagon and have a go?
Whats the worst that can happen?
you might like it. If you don't, then fair enough but you had a lash. There's obviously a reason people are doing it, be it to be active or maybe just as an excuse for social interraction.
Does it mattter?
If you don't like the poeple, then its completely understandable. If you do then you are just being an unsociable zealot.
maybe its your own personal insecurity about your performance in these group environments that you feel threatened by the most and it doesn't really have anything to do with the activity at all? Thats why you find yourself craving the exact opposite..
PS. I went indoor rock climbing last night...I'm sore but I enjoyed it.
have a go...Life's too short.
Rodeo- I secretly dream of briefly dabbling in the nerd contingent. Just paint a miniature or two, be a wizard for an afternoon, but then slap myself and get back to being a normal person.
AY- Yeah, I agree it's fine to not like group activities, but it's more my motives that concern me. Not doing something because someone else is, isn't a valid reason, I don't think.
Pedro- I can always count on you to give me a stern talking to. I think you are right on some points, but not on others. Snooty? Maybe. Not taking part because of performance-anxiety? Nah, not really.
But anyway, I welcome a berrating, because as I said in the post, I can see it's my problem, not the activity itself.
ps- life's too short to not climb up the inside wall of a building? This is sobering.
As a conforming non-conformist I hear you Ben.
While I think there is a serious side of this issue to deal with regarding the "body of Christ" I think the superficial side of the question is much more pertinent.
I can understand bike riding as a means of getting from A to B - but as recreation?
And don't get me started on rock climbing.
It's a shame blogging isn't a team sport.
I have a theory about this.
I reckon Christians want activities that are 'cool' to do, but our obedience to Scripture stops us from doing things the world considers 'cool' - i.e. going to parties, raves, pubs and bars...pretty much anything to do with alcohol.
So we tend to flock towards activities that have some cool cred without the 'worldly' factor. This is why christian people like random things such as rock climbing, board games, bikes, coffee (the holy man's drug), jazz (the holy man's version of 'cool' music) and BBC dramas (the holy man's movie choice).
Hey Soph, I think it is unChristian to not attend booze drinking parties with Non-Christians.
But Ben, blogging is the ultimate cool thing to do in Christian circles. Who got you on to blogging, and seeing it's so popular in Christian circles why do you still do it?
Brilliant Soph.
I do too, geoffc.
But I also happen to like having a drink or two at parties (which is very hard with baby in utereo. Keep having to remember I like having a healthy child more).
Nathan- I'm glad that you are embracing the superficial side. We could totally mock them for shaving their legs as well.
Soph- Hmm, interesting. Yeah, I think I am pretty much allergic to all those activities. Jazz, defintely. I'd add innoffensive we-call-it-alternative-but-it's-really-not music. U2. Coldplay. And I think BBC dramas are the female alternative.
Geoff- Very good point about blogging, you are right. Yes, Christian blogs got me blogging. Why do I do it despite? Not sure. This will be my last ever post, thanks for opening my eyes.
oh, and sex. I forgot to mention casual sex - a very popular, "cool" Sydneysider activity. If you think about it, a lot of social interaction leads to the possibility of sex with soemone. Take out skimpy clothes, flirting at bars, strip clubs, etc and you're left with...well, bike riding.
And yes, I'm exaggerating :)
Ben,
I thought you liked Coffee.
I think there are non-conforming Christians who have their own Scripture approved (via conscience) activities.
I think they include:
1. Appreciation of the arts/beauty/pop culture as a pursuit of God - even bad stuff that makes us feel uncomfortable. Like the Sopranos. The Sopranos is great because it teaches us about the depravity of man.
2. Homebrewing beer, or drinking boutique beer.
3. Wine appreciation.
4. Cigar smoking.
5. Being really into coffee - not just a Starbucks addict.
6. As an addendum to number one - getting into indie/alternative music as a real expression of the human condition.
7. Normal sport - so we can have non Christian friends.
8. Talking about obscure theology that has no real world application. Like Barth.
I think we're about "authenticity"...
Sadly this sounds like the emerging church.
Soph,
Interesting follow up.
I almost included sex in the Christian list.
Especially because of the Driscoll factor.
Sex is the new black in reformed circles.
If you're going to get rid of skimpy clothing, then bike riding has to go as well.
Those bike pants leave very little of the male anatomical structure to the imagination.
This will be my last ever post, thanks for opening my eyes.
mission accomplished
Hurtful. Very hurtful.
Ben, you are obviously not paying enough attention. They're not just bikes, they're fixies! And you have to admit, the guy who designs them makes "cool" by anybody's standards, in the design world, and isn't just a Christian wannabe. Google Frag Woodall.
Personally, I don't really give a fig about being "cool", or so I tell myself (I've accepted that I am not "cool" enough for the inner-west! - you sound like an inner-westy waiting to happen Nathan! :) ... ) and I like BBC dramas (to which I never attributed any kind of cool status in the first place - most of them are based on books of enduring merit, which is a start, but classics are not exactly the latest craze). I'd probably also like riding a fixie, but that's a seriously treacherous business in the city (they have no brakes). Either way, I am happy to wear the label of "christian people", because why would I bother otherwise ...
I wonder whether, fundamentally, whether you're aiming to conform, or deliberately non-conform, it's driven by the same thing.
I'm not sure whether to be flattered or offended by that Ali.
I don't want to be an inner-westy. That's where all the wannabe cool people go.
I want to be non-conformingly authentic. Wherever it is that the type of people who lived in the inner-west before the cool people started moving there to be cool by association lived.
I think Townsville is where it's at, thanks to pioneers like you.
:). You can be flattered. But, yes, Townsville is definitely close to the hub of non-conforming authenticity - that's nowhere near cool of course.
Actually I did appreciate the blase (there's supposed to be a flick, or something or other on the e, but I can't be bothered working out how to do it) attitude of Townsville. I have a theory about that - it's too HOT! People give up bothering with looking cool (I'm not making the most of the pun opportunities here with hot and cool!) for starters, because there's rarely a day for anything beyond as little clothing as possible, which limits your cool clothing scope.
i rode my bike to breakfast this morning just for you Ben. And you weren't even there to appreciate it...
Nathan, I'm a closet non-conformist too. Even back in primary school, I'd instantly change what I was doing (say in art) if I found someone someone else had a similar idea. Look where it's led me - I'm a missionary now!
I wanted to be there, Drew, I really did.
Seems like yonks since we've had a chat-- I still want to hear about your trip.
Ali, by the way, just the fact that they're not even called bikes, but now have some silly other name is even more reason for me to steer clear.
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